Memories, Music & Emotional Responses
I've still got "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" on the brain, and I guess thats a good thing. If a film can make you continue thinking about it days after you saw it, its a great film and the people responsible for making it did their jobs wonderfully. Also, as my one year anniversary of dating Elena is fast approaching (it can't get here fast enough so I can get to London and Paris already so I can be with her again) I've been thinking a lot about our relationship and music has an amazing power to evoke so many emotions and feelings in memories in people.
In all the time we've been together, there haven't really been too many negative memories or things I'd rather forget. Most of Valentine's Day weekend this year I'd like to repress, having to say goodbye to her at the airport when she originally left for London in August was pretty harsh too, but other than a few days that I don't remember too fondly there's a whole year of stuff that I love thinking about.
Music has an amazing power to conjure up those memories for me. And since my iTunes library currently has about 4800 songs in it, I have a lot to listen to. I hadn't even heard of Dashboard Confessional when we first started going out, but the second I heard "Hands Down" two weeks or so after she left for London it had an immediate impact on me and brought tons of memories about our first, and especially second date to mind. The lyric, "My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy" basically summed up my feelings on our second date. I surprised myself by actually giving her a goodnight kiss, or three, on our first date, and all I wanted to do was kiss her again, and more, the next time we went out. Every time I hear that song I think of her and that night, and it brings a smile to my face.
The first time she had dinner at my house, after we watched a flick on the couch we went in my room and closed the door. Enough said, but the first song that came on my pre-meditated, ready and waiting for that moment "Mellow" playlist (and she just loves telling the story of how I had the make out music ready to go) was Jimmy Eat World's "My Sundown." I can't hear that song without thinking about that night. Even right now, I have on Alanis Morissette's "That I Would Be Good," and the lyric "That I would be loved even when I'm not myself" reminds of a few days before Elena left for London and she was crazy, about everything. Before stopping by her house I got her a nice bouquet of flowers and wrote out the card saying that I loved her, even though she was nuts at the moment. She had basically yelled at me earlier in the day over the phone, and I got her flowers for yelling at me. I'm a sucker.
Let's see, I've really gotten into Jeff Buckley at the moment, and I love his song "Lover, You Should Have Come Over" and although it doesn't invoke any strong memory, it does a lot of emotion. I love the verse that goes:
It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her...
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever
Oh, but maybe I'm just too young to keep good love from going wrong
Oh... lover you should've come over...
Good stuff. Highly recommend anyone who has not listened to Jeff Buckley to do so, you won't regret. Back on topic, if its possible. I can't even listen to the official bootleg of the Pearl Jam show we went to without thinking of her, especially the nice slow tune "Thumbing My Way." I gave Elena the good old hug from behind and we did the slow rocking back and forth to the tune while I sang along (she didn't know too many of the words, except to the popular songs).
I'm highly curious to see what songs are going to stick with me after we see each other again and experience Paris together. Should be interesting and I can't wait! Only a little more than two weeks to go. It can't get here quick enough, thats for sure!
Alright, I'm out. Enough babbling for tonight. Going to unwind with a movie and pass out, since I know the pooch will wake me up early. I'm actually counting on it because there is some work stuff I need to do remotely from home in the wee hours of the morning before people get to the office. Lets just hope I don't blow up the company's e-mail system. That would be bad.
Current music - Pearl Jam "Thumbing My Way" (Speak of the devil. I had iTunes on random, I swear!)