Cathartic
We now return to "The Matt Show" where today's topic of discussion is Angry Music and How It Helps You Deal With Life Stuff! Its not any secret that music has innate healing abilities in people, and what better way to blow off some steam than to blast some angry and loud rock music on your drive home and basically scream along to the lyrics in the comfort of your own car, where thankfully no one can hear you. It really helps, trust me.
Last year, around this time when I found out Elena cheated on me and I was trying to deal with it, the angry music of choice was Linkin Park. But even then I would just generally skip around to most of the songs I knew, and since they're so short (I was able to burn both their albums onto a single disc), it didn't make for long listening. Then again, it was really the only angry and loud music I listened to for about a month. If I wanted to get really depressed about things, and I don't highly recommend this, it was Dashboard Confessional all the way. I mean, seriously, check out the lyrics for their song, The Best Deceptions and you'll see why listening to this stuff while in the throes of heartache is just a bad idea all around. And the other artist I would listen to constantly was Jeff Buckley, whose music wasn't too depressing, nor too angry. It was a happy medium, and I just liked it.
So what am I listening to this time around? I've rediscovered the anger of Nine Inch Nails. I listened to their live album all the way home yesterday, screaming/singing the really angry parts and it felt good, damn good. I can't wait for their new album to come out, sometime soon I've heard.
Still doing OK over here. I got a little sad yesterday at work, but I'm going to cop out and blame that on the fact that I was exhausted from no sleep the night before. I'm feeling better and better by the minute and I'm 110% sure that this is all for the best. I already boxed up all the stuff I had in my room that reminded me of her, took her pictures off my desk at work and generally put it all together and threw it in my basement, with the box of stuff from my other ex.
I did have to contact Elena yesterday, but it was merely for a business transaction. You're going to love this, because I thought it was ingenious, if I do say so myself. I bought tickets for us to go see Avenue Q on her birthday, complete with a hotel room in NYC for the weekend. I cancelled the hotel room immediately, but I'm stuck with the tickets and need to get rid of them. I've asked a few friends and co-workers, but nothing yet. So then it dawned on me, Elena loves musicals and probably still wants to see it, why not sell them to her? So I sent her a text message (because I sure as hell wasn't going to call and actually talk to her) and offered to sell them to her, she texted back asking how much, I said full price, she said she'd get back to me today on it. If I can offload them to her, for full price no less, I'll feel good. I was going to sell them half price just to get rid of them, but this will be better. If it was the other way around and it was me, I wouldn't want them. It would just be too weird going to see a show with tickets my ex got me for my birthday no less. But I guess maybe birthday's and their significance don't mean much to Elena as evidenced in my previous post. So I'm still waiting to hear.
In the meantime everything else is good. My dad asked if I was still alive and OK last night, and I said yes, laughing, saying thanks for the concern. Thats about it. Nothing new to report. I'm feeling good and I think thats all thats important.
Comments
Glad to hear you're doing well :)
Posted by: Jenniy | March 8, 2005 3:54 PM