Therapy
So I had my appointment with my therapist/psychologist yesterday and I'm not sure if I'm going to continue seeing the guy, or even if I'm going to continue trying to find one at all. I didn't leave there feeling too good about any of the recent choices I've made in the past few weeks, from deciding to try to be friends with Elena up to moving out of my parent's house. I went in there saying that I wanted to address certain patterns of behavior, especially dealing with my relationships with women and according to the guy it seems like I'm fine, there is no such thing as doing too much for someone, and that I shouldn't be friends with Elena. I also probably shouldn't move into a house with three women, and I should definitely go back to school and get an MBA. WTF? The guy was nice enough and easy enough to talk to most of the time, but I just didn't leave with a good feeling. Isn't therapy supposed to make you feel better somewhat? And honestly, I was feeling fine before I went. When I finally got home I tried to practice a little guitar and just couldn't focus and nothing sounded right (like it ever really does, but this was beyond my usual badness).
The more I think about it, I'm not sure if I really need therapy. I've done a lot fo soul searching in the past month and I think I know what my issues are and I think I know from where a lot of them stem from. Mostly a lack of confidence, assertiveness and self esteem. All things that I'm trying to work on myself. I don't know. I really just need to think about it some more to see if its something that I really want to pursue.
In related news, Elena called me last night just to see what's up. We had a brief IM conversation yesterday afternoon that got cut off, so she called me last night. We didn't talk for long, but it was nice to talk. Not sure when we're going to get together and hang out, but I'm not in any rush to. I told her about the bad therapist appointment, but not really why it was bad, since it pertained to her. And just as she was about to go I told her about moving out of my parents hosue and she didn't believe me at first, but I told her it was for real and that was about it. She said to call her sometime, but who knows with her schedule. I think it can wait awhile as I have a lot of stuff to get in order in the coming days and weeks.
My dad gave me the check he promised me yesterday, and of course, it was for about a thousand more than I asked for, for which I'm even more grateful. He said it was for an air conditioner and curtains and whatever other things I need. I said thanks, again, even though I'm sure my mom will probably pay for any decorative things that I need. I just know her like that. I'm still really excited about moving out, but why do a lot of people that I talk to seem like its a bad idea? I don't know, but its really starting to get to me. The only way I'll know if its a bad idea or not is if I give it a shot. If you never try then you'll never know, right? I swear that must be a Coldplay lyric because that line seemed so familiar when I just typed it.
OK, I'm going to stop babbling and get to work. Have a great Tuesday everyone!