A Steaming Pile Of...
Well, shit, thats the only way to finish that sentence. It sounds gross, I know, and I apologize, but even worse than that is the sight or smell of it. Thats what greeted us this morning. Seriously. I was in the bathroom this morning and one of my roommates was banging on the door, saying we have a Code Black (yes we watch way too much Grey's Anatomy in my house) and all I could think of was that someone needed to get in the bathroom, so I said I'd be right out. They said no, don't go out the front door. Why? I asked. Because there's shit there. I thought they were just talking about the proverbial shit, not the literal shit. So I got out of the bathroom and called one of them up, and just asked, huh? Turns out someone or something, left something foul on our porch in front of the neighbor's door. Nasty, right? So nasty you could even smell it walking down the stairs towards the front door. Thankfully we have the back one too, but don't really use it as the stairs are tricky sometimes.
So I go out the back and put my stuff in my car and the curious idiot in me says, I have to see this for myself. So I walk around out front, look into the porch and sure enough, a big pile of... well... shit. I'd hate to see what whoever left it was eating, because damn, get yourself checked out, and pronto. I was talking to Shari about it and she said we're not even equipped to handle something like that, we have no shovels. Thats how bad it was. I felt even worse calling the care-taker lady and trying to explain it. I tried to do it as best I could, but saying that someone of something left something nasty in front of the neighbors door. What she asked. I ummed for a second, then said feces. She said what? I said, feces. She still wasn't getting it, so I said crap. Then she goes, Crap? Oh, feces. We then proceeded to have a two minute conversation over just how nasty it was and how on Earth it could've gotten there. She said she'd call her husband to clean it up. Poor bastard.
I just hope its gone when I get home, because I think if I have to see it again I'll be traumatized for like. And I'm so not joking about all of this. Who could make this shit up? Pun totally intended.