She's coming to my office to see what its all about, even though its not that exciting I'd like her to see where I spend a good chunk of my life recently. Plus, after I give her the grand five cent tour, we're off to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and, you guessed it, cheesecake. That place kicks all kind of ass, let me tell you. If you've never been to one, you're missing out.

After dinner its back to my house. Elena's staying the night because I'm not working tomorrow and she only has to do two deliveries tomorrow night, then we're free to spend New Years doing absolutely nothing. I think we're just going to relax at my house, drink some wine, watch some movies or something, and thats it. Not bad if you ask me. I'm not big on the whole New Years partying and getting drunk thing. Actually the whole partying and getting drunk thing was never my thing, with or without New Years Eve being thrown into the mix.

On a somewhat related note, I'm so happy that Elena came home for the holidays. Although I unfortunately have to work and haven't been able to see as much of her as I would like, the time that we have spent together has been fantastic. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Its gonna suck when she leaves in a week and a half, but I'll be going to see her soon after for Valentine's Day weekend, so its all good. 2004 maybe a little tough for us not seeing each other a lot, but I think we'll be OK. We've made it this far, you know?

So thats about it, only a little while to go in this day and then I'm off for a whopping five days. Nice. Its all I can say. And this. Peace.

After having off from work for the past four days waking up this morning was a pain in the ass. My alarm went off at 6 AM like it usually does, but I could've sworn I was dreaming or something because I shut it off, but don't remember doing it. I definitely remember setting it, just not shutting it off. And, the dog, Keyser my boy, my usual 5:30 AM wake up call was a lazy bastard and slept through the whole damn thing. Oh well, what are you going to do? Its going to be worse next Monday, because I'll have 5 days off in a row. Poor me.

Anyway, had a great rest of the weekend. Christmas was a blast with Elena and her family. I finally went back to my own house on Friday and hung out with my cousin as she was visiting for the rest of the weekend. We watched a bunch of episodes of Alias, yes, again with the Alias watching, had some dinner and I went to sleep at like 10. I know, I'm pathetic.

Elena was supposed to work on Saturday but she got out of it because she wasn't feeling well and she would have rather not worked. So we hung out at her house for awhile. I had to run home really quickly to see some old neighbors/friends of my families, for like five minutes. Then I ran back to Elena's, we had some Chinese food, then we went back to my hosue for the night. We watched Seabiscuit, which was pretty good, not this fantastic masterpiece people are claiming, but it was good. We watched some Coupling on DVD that I gave Elena for Christmas and then went to bed.

Sunday we slept in like lazy bastards. Dropped Lauren, my cousin, off at the ferry so she could get home to Connecticut and then Elena and I went to see Big Fish. It was a damn good movie and it makes me love the song Pearl Jam wrote for it all the more. I highly recommend it. Both the movie and the song. Sunday night we had dinner at my house and celebrated my dad's birthday, which is today. Then we watched some more Coupling and then I took Elena home.

She's still not feeling so well. She has a really bad lingering cough and sore throat. She's going to the doctor today, so hopefully she'll start getting better before she has to go back to school and sing and perform.

Tonight we're supposed to go out for dinner together, but I have the feeling her doctor appointment is going to interfere with that. Then we're going to have dessert and such at her cousin's apartment which isn't too far from where I live.

So now we're all caught up. Having a very boring day of work and I'm sure tomorrow will be too. Adios for now. And Happy New Year if I don't post before then!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas. I have to say that mine was awesome, for the first time in awhile. Probably had a lot to do with spending it with Elena and her family as opposed to down South with a bunch of whacko's. I didn't get much, but its all about quality, not quantity, and it was all quality. Besides, Elena came home, I didn't need her to give me anything else but that. And, to top it off she's going to take off from work for me tomorrow, which means a lot because I know how much she needs the money to live on. I think she got a lot of cash here and there for Xmas, so I think that helped.

Elena loved her gift, after I agonized over it for almost a month prior. It came from Tiffany & Co. and her sister is a walking Tiffany catalog. She knew exactly what item I got her by name, metal and with diamonds. I just told her to make sure she doesn't spill just how much it costs, and that Elena doesn't go looking at that information either. But, I did good, in everyone's eyes, so its all good. Worth every penny and every moment of agonizing over what to get.

All in all it was a fantastic Christmas. No complaints from this Jew, no way. Anyway, gonna go now. Adios and Happy New Year everyone!

So the Holiday Get Together I planned with my friends was last night and it was a blast. Everyone had a good time, great eats, even better friends, you really can't go wrong. Only bad thing is that Elena wasn't feeling too well yesterday, she got a little better before people started showing up, but once dinner was done and dessert commenced she looked and probably felt like death. She was supposed to stay the night, but she just went home with her dad. I just spoke to her a little while ago and she sounds a whole lot worse. So I'm gonna go be the good boyfriend and go take care of her. Her mom is sick too, and her sister just got over being sick, so I guess its making its rounds throughout their house. I just kind of avoided being sick after I got back from London, so I'm not too worried about catching whatever it is she has. I'm going to head over there as soon as my mom gets some soup together for me to bring her and a plate full of leftover goodies for her mom, since she was too sick to come over last night.

Need tog rab some movies to watch as well, because what the hell else are you going to do when you're sick but lay in bed? Might as well be entertained, and unfortunately, what's on TV sucks ass these days. I was thinking some Finding Nemo action, along with maybe some Pirates of the Caribbean, and maybe a handful of other summer movies that were good. We'll see. I'm sure I'll find something from the 400 or so DVD's we have. I'm not even sure we have that many, its just a rough estimate. For all I know we could have more. Anyway, I'm out. Enjoy.

Current music - The Cult "Rise"

Elena and I talked and I think things are better now. Being that we're usually 3500 miles, and 5 time zones away, I guess we really never had the time to talk like we did tonight. But I got everything I wanted off my chest. I thought maybe she would have to something to get off hers, but she didn't and I believe her. It feels good to get it out in the open, and now she knows how I feel and can take that into account in the future.

Anyway, I think in the end I just wanted to know how she felt about us and about our chances to make it through this long distance phase of our relationship. I know she wants to make it, and I do too, and I think that'll get us through. So thats it. Going to fall asleep watching The Two Towers in preparation for The Return of the King which I'll be seeing on Friday. Good night.

From Elena of course. She's working tonight and I told her to call me when she gets out, because I really need to talk to her, and unfortunately I think its serious stuff. We don't like to fight or argue, we both hate confrontation, but as a result, I think we bottle up a lot of our true feelings, worries and thoughts about the state of our relationship because we don't want to anger the other one and start a fight. But I'm coming to realize more and more that the occasional fight is probably healthy, and the fact that we don't argue, isn't as good for our relationship as we think it is. Now I don't want to start a fight with her, especially since we have such little time together, but there are things that have been on my mind that I need to get off my chest, for the sake of my own emotions, and it'll be good to get it all out in the open, at least for my sake.

Basically, I feel that recently, we haven't been on the same page, or an even playing field when it comes to the give and take in the relationship, especially where emotions are concerned. I feel like I'm doing a lot of the giving, her a lot of the taking and the reverse just isn't happening. I've been having this feeling for awhile, even before I left at the end of November I've felt this way. I knew she was busy with school and rehearsals and such when I came to visit, but I got the feeling from her that before I came she didn't have that strong of a feeling one way or the other whether I came to London or not. I called her on my way to the airport from work and I got no excitement or anything like that from her. Like I said, didn't seem to matter to her one way or the other if I came or not. But, it could have just been her mood at the time. Once I was there my fears were put to rest, but I still had that feeling and I didn't like it.

It's even continues into this week. I only picked her up on Sunday, but I get the feeling that I'm not so high up on her priority list. She could have come over last night, but she didn't, saying that it would have taken too long to come to my house and that it wasn't worth it to only stay for a short while or that she would be tempted to stay too long. It takes 20 minutes from her house to my house, that beats 7+ hours and 3500 miles on a plane. And even if the time was short, it was time spent together, time that I wanted to spend with her.

I just get the overall feeling that I'm being taken for granted, and that everything I do for her is not appreciated to the fullest degree. It even stems from the littlest thing, like I can barely recall her asking how my day at work is, when I ask her all the time how school or work were. I know it sounds petty, but sometimes its the little things that mean the most.

I really don't want to mess up what we have together, because I know that its great and its got a lot of potential for a long and happy future together, but I just feel like if I don't get this out of my system I'll explode. I'd like to talk to her face to face about this, but I don't know if I can wait that long. We talk on the phone enough, I think its time to talk to each other, for real, not just dance around the issues.

I hate feeling like this, but I do, and unless she tells me how she's feeling, because I honestly have no clue, because we don't talk about these things, and I think talking will help. And if it hurts, then it wasn't meant to be. If there was one important lesson I learned from my previous relationship is to not just be in for the sake of being in it. Don't just go through the motions and let it live past its due date. No one's happy in that respect.

I don't know. This just sucks to have this feeling, especially when she's only home for a little more than three weeks at this point. I don't know. Wish me, and us, luck.

Cute little movie by the way. Anyway, about to head out to see the Islanders play. I'm not an Islander fan in the least bit, I root for the Rangers, therefore I'm sworn to root against the Islanders in all instances, but a hockey game is a hockey game, so I'll go. Plus I'm going with Seth, so at least that'll be good. What it really counts for is helping to pass the evening along.

I can't wait for tomorrow because Elena's flight is coming in at 2:40 in the afternoon and I can't wait! I know she's excited about coming home, finally. I think it took all her school work ending for her to be able to see that she's coming home and get excited about it. And she is, and thats good, and it'll be good to have her at home, for her, me and us. I think the recharge will do her good. Head back to London on fresh batteries after a good Christmas and New Years home and get ready to kick some more ass.

I personally, cannot wait to see her again, even though I just saw her two weeks ago. Two weeks ago feels like a long time ago though, honestly it does. So its all good. I'm excited and I'm not making much sense. I know. So I'll stop now, while I'm ahead, or behind. Doesn't matter. Elena will be here tomorrow! YAY!!!

Current music - Matthew Sweet "Girlfriend"

And so far so good on all the things Apple repaired. I have a clear display without any White Spots and a hard drive that seems free of annoying clicks, so we'll see how long both of those last for. And hey, if they come back, I have a three year warranty on the thing, I'll just call Apple again and send it back again until they get it right, dammit.

I can't believe how much it sucked being without something as simple as my laptop. I borrowed a Dell from work to use for a few days, but it wasn't the same. I needed my mac, I needed my OS X, I needed my backlit keyboard and wide-screen display. I'm so happy to have it back, you have no idea.

So, Elena comes into town on Sunday and I can't wait. She'll be home for like 4 weeks and its going to be great, or at least I hope so. Part of me, the idiot side of me, has a hard time believing that I have it so good, and that a girl like Elena loves me and wants to be with me, even across a whole ocean. But I know I should tell the idiot to shut up, and I try. He's just so damn loud sometimes.

Other than that, nothing else going on. Need to do some Christmas shopping, but I'm waiting for Elena to come home to do the bulk of it, since its mostly for her family and such. I'm pretty much done with my family, so thats a good thing. I'm done shopping for Elena, and thats a good thing considering how hard it was to pick something out for her, and after having to return the first thing I got her, but I think the backup I got her is even better. So its all good.

Anyway, gonna stop babbling now and watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Adios.

Seems like when I started this blog thing I was complaining about snow, and look, here I am complaining about it again. Snow sucks. I hate how it keeps you trapped inside. Hopefully I'll be able to get out today at some point, because I have some shopping to do with my mom.

I need to get a new suit for my companies holiday party. My old suit, which I got back in 2000 hass served me well, but that suit was for a much fatter man. I gt away with wearing it back in July for Elena's cousin's wedding and my job interviews before I got my job, but that was before I lost like 20 more pounds. So I'm sure it would look ridiculous on me now. Plus, after three years I think its time for a new one. I got plenty of use out of the old one, so hopefully I'll get the same amount out of the new one.

I also need to get a new winter type jacket for inclement weather. I got a new coat coat, for work and stuff, that looks professional, but I need one for the snow and rain, something I can get wet, because from what I've heard, wool can't get wet. Other than that I need to do some Christmas shopping. Probably some gift cards and gift certificates for my brothers and parents, because I can't think of anything else to buy anyone. I'm having a very unoriginal holiday gift giving season. Can't help it.

Hopefully Elena will be able to help me out with getting things for her family. We're going to go shopping together, something I should know better about, because the girl can shop, she'll do the picking, I'll do the purchasing and we'll put both our names in the From: box on the gift tag. Cheesy, yes, but who cares. She gets to give presents and I'll know what to get her family. Its a win win situation.

Alright, back to more season 2 of Alias. Its good stuff, let me tell you.

London was amazing baby, just like it was last night. You have no idea how good it feels to see and spend time with the person you love especially after you've been away from them for so long. My birthday was great and it was awesome to spend it with Elena in London. We went out for dinner on Friday after she was done with class and then she cooked for me on Saturday night. My birthday should be stretched over two days like that all the time.

Its been a pretty normal week and hopefully next week will be normal as well and then Elena will be home in exactly one week and a day. I can't wait. It'll be good to spend time at home with her and especially over the holidays. I can't wait for our little shindig at my house on the 20th and to spend Christmas at her house.

Its been snowing here since yesterday and its been a mess. It took me 4 hours to get home last night. I left my office at 3:30 since we closed early. Didn't make it in the front door until about 7:30. Thats how bad the snow and traffic was. Ridiculous. Oh well, what you gonna do? I've been sitting at home all day watching the second season of Alias on DVD. Its good shit, let me tell you. And I'm about to get back to it. Adios for now. Stay warm!