Finished up the Roswell and just wasn't in the mood for a movie. I love my WB shows more. Angel's a damn fine show and the third season was one of the better ones. I'm very upset that the WB has decided to cancel it. Hopefully someone like UPN will be smart enough to pick it up like they did with the third season of Roswell. We'll see though.

TV shows on DVD are great. Thats how I watch some shows now. Like 24. I don't watch it on a weekly basis. I wait for the DVD set and watch it in a weekend or two straight through. I'm already on episode two of Angel and must've gone through at least 15 episodes of Roswell this weekend alone. Good stuff, good stuff.

Anyway, back to the vampire with a soul. I think a reason I love this show so much is that I love the mythos of vampires so much. Always been interested in almost anything vampire related. Still am. Alrighty people. Peace.

Watching the last of my Roswell Season 1 DVD. Then I'm torn between whether or not I should go into some of my Netflix movies, Matchstick Men, Pieces of April and Spun, or some more of my TV seasons on DVD, of which I have Angel Season 3, Buffy Season 5 and Firefly. Plus I have Comic Book the movie and a documentary on Chuck Palahniuk. Too much to choose from.

I also need to call Elena later. I tried calling her yesterday but she was getting ready for a nap because she had to work later that night. She said she just got a job promoting a night club, meaning she had to stand on the street and try to entice people to go to the club. Hopefully she made some money. She just got her broadband up and running and I'm hoping we can try out the video chat thing today. It would be nice to see her face along with her voice. We'll see if it works.

Other than that I plan on doing absolutely nothing today unless I have to. My mom wants me to go to Petco to get the dog food, and he does need a new collar, but I'm just not in the mood to go today. We'll see what the rest of the day has in store for me, I'll just take it as it comes.

On a side note, very upset at some music selections in the Roswell DVD's. There was a note in the box from the shows creator saying that in order to put out the DVD's they had to change some of the music due to the high cost of acquiring the rights to use it on the DVD. My favorite scene used a great Collective Soul song, and it wasn't there on the DVD. I'm upset to say the least, but oh well. What you going to do.

Anyway, back to Roswell. Adios.

So its like 3:30 in the morning and I'm watching Roswell on DVD. The dog woke me up an hour ago having to pee and I've been up since. Figured if I'm not going to sleep I might as well watch some TV on DVD. Kind of like on Superbowl Sunday, I couldn't sleep and watched practically half the fourth season of The Sopranos instead of tossing and turning. Fun stuff.

So things are getting better. I got a very beautiful card in the mail from Elena today and it makes me feel better about us. Between the card and our conversation the other day I think we're heading in a good direction and towards the right place. I really have to look into getting my next ticket to go see her and booking our trip to Paris for the weekend. She also just got her broadband connection up and running yesterday so I'm anxious to try out the whole video chat thing. Hopefully it'll work, otherwise it would be a big disappointment and a big waste of money. We'll see.

On the agenda for today: haircut, move my dad's PC from his office into my parents room since they're about to tear his office apart and remodel it, go to dinner with Brett and his fiance, and thats probably about it. We'll see what else pops up throughout the day, but I have a feeling that nothing too important will. Otherwise it'll just be a DVD watching day in between all the other crap I have to do.

And thats about it. We'll see just when I get to sleep, if I even do. Adios for now people.

Having a very slow afternoon at work, which sucks. I'm practically falling asleep at my desk. I have to research some disaster recovery stuff for work in the event that everything blows up here and all the IT staff die in a fiery wreck or something so that someone else could get things back up and running. Fun stuff.

Nothing new to report really. The medicine I'm on is starting to work as I'm slowly but surely feeling better. I really hate being sick because there is nothing fun about not being able to swallow, having it hurt to breathe and being stuffed up. It didn't help that I stayed up late last night watching TV instead of going to bed. Would probably explain why I'm so damn tired today. It sucks, but I'll just go home and pass out or something.

In Elena news, we had a good conversation on my way home from work last night. Lasted the whole damn ride too, almost 60 minutes. I spoke to her briefly on Tuesday and she kind of rushed me off the phone so I got a really weird vibe about it. Then yesterday she left a message on my cell phone, which she never does, because I always call her, and it wasn't a typical message from her. Sounded way too business-like and no emotion. But when I called her she said she just missed me and wanted to hear my voice, so good for me.

We talked about half the time about what happened Valentine's Day and I feel somewhat better about it all. Some things were nagging me and I got them off my chest and although I may not agree with a lot of the things she said, they mainly sounded like bad excuses, she now knows how I feel about everything and I can only hope she keeps that in mind from here on out. I think we'll get through these problems we're having eventually. It'll just take time and time is on my side these days. Got a whole lot of it.

So that's that. Just trying to kill the rest of the day away so I can go home, watch Friends and go to bed because I'm exhausted. Adios.

Had to go to Melville this morning, then I had a meeting about 20 minutes from my house at 11, even though I thought it was yesterday. So I got the OK to go home after the meeting and work from home, which means not really doing anything except sitting around watching Roswell on DVD. Good stuff.

Other than that nothing new to report. Been feeling somewhat better about things recently. A lot of angry music has helped, mostly Linkin Park, along with the requisite Dashboard Confessional and the newly discovered, though long dead Jeff Buckley. All good. Gotta call Elena later and chat. Should be interesting. Always is these days.

Back to Roswell. Adios.

Current music - Pearl Jam "Wishlist"

Funny movie, I must say. Utterly predictable, but funny as hell nonetheless. I need to get a tune off the soundtrack. Anyone thats seen the movie will know what I mean, the Scotty Doesn't Know song. Funny stuff man. How about Kristen Kreuk going against her Lana Lang casting on Smallville to play a cheating girlfriend to a punk rocker Matt Damon no less. Real funny. The other thing that I want is a little wav sound that says "Mail motherfucker" when the kid gets e-mail. I so want that. I know, its stupid, but so am I sometimes.

I'm also looking into the whole Paris for a weekend thing, although I probably need my frickin head examined for even suggesting such a thing, but who knows. We'll see what happens. I may change my mind, and if so, oh well. Other than that nothing new to report. Been watching movies from Netflix all day and I only have one more to go and I'll have gone through my whole three in one day. How impressive? Most impressive.

Current music - Flickerstick "Chloroform"

UPDATE: To get the sound file, go here Eurotrip Wav Files

Kind of funny that I'm off to see that movie in a little while. Rand and I are going to check it out. It looks retarded, but funny, and I could use a laugh. Kind of funny its about a trip to Europe, considering I just got back from there.

Things are getting better between Elena and I. We're trying to move on from our problems, and I think we are, slowly but surely. I still think about what happened, but in time I think it will fade. It won't go away completely, I don't think it ever will, but it'll get better. Kinda has to. Things won't ever be the same between us, but that doesn't mean that things will be worse between us, just not the same. I'm going to stop babbling.

I actually need to plan my own Eurotrip soon. Next time I go see Elena will be Good Friday/Easter weekend and its also our one year anniversary so I was thinking we would do something special, like hop a train to Paris for the weekend or something. We'll see what happens though. I need to research it though, see how much it costs, book a hotel and all that stuff. We'll see, its still a month and a half away.

That's about all. Watching the end of Citizen Kane. I got it from Netflix. Its good, don't see how its the greatest film ever made though. I already know what Rosebud is, so that kind of ruins the surprise ending. Oh well.

I'll let you know how Eurotrip is. Adios.

Slowly but surely I'm feeling better about what happened in London. Not sure if I should though, but I can't help the way I feel. I can't make myself feel differently, this is just how I feel. You can't force your emotions. I mean, you could, but it would probably mess you up and I don't feel messed up.

I think talking to Seth and letting someone else in on the secret helped a lot. We'll see if things get better in time as I'm sure they will. Time is on my side, thats for sure. Who knows when Elena will be back for good. I know I want her back as soon as possible and her parents do too. Her dad told me to tell her that enough is enough and that she should come home. Of course her mom said that she needed to finish school first, and I'm of that opinion. I told her when she left to go and do what she needed to do and come home. We'll see if that holds up.

I'll probably be going back to London again during Good Friday/Easter weekend, since those holidays matter to me not as a Jew boy. It also happens to fall a day or two after our one year anniversary. Hopefully if I do go then we'll actually manage to not fuck the weekend up like we fucked up Valentine's Day. Let's hope.

Current music - Dashboard Confessional "This Bitter Pill"

So I talked to Seth about London and it was good to get it out there and off my chest. That's what a best friend is for, you know? Basically I have a lot to think about and its not going to be easy, thats for sure. We'll see what happens. Only time will tell, and all those other really bad cliches. But I guess they're cliches for a reason, right? Oh well, fuck it. I'm going to bed.

Current music - Dashboard Confessional "The Best Deceptions"

P.S. - Here's a hint, if you know the song, you'll know my predicament.

So I've decided I am, but still not here. I'm waiting for Seth to call me later so I can spill my guts about what went down in London. Who knows how he'll react, but I don't care. I just need to talk to someone about it before I go out of my mind, and he is my best friend. If I can't talk to him, who the hell am I going to talk to? Let's see how it goes, because I have no idea. Should be fun regardless. At least I still have my sense of humor, twisted, but its still there, somewhere.

Current music - Pete Yorn "Sense"

Why? Why the hell is an overweight bag to London, even by a single solitary pound, cost so much money? According to American Airlines, thats just the way it is between New York and London. Not so much an airline thing, more a country thing. The woman who looked into it for me was just as shocked as I was, but thats the way it is.

What's more important to ask is just why the hell I agreed to pay it? Why the hell was I even lugging all that crap in the first place? It would've been cheaper to send it FedEx or DHL, but no, I have to be a nice guy and pack it with my luggage and get raped over the cost of having an overweight bag. I know I'm just way too nice, and as a result, nice guys get taken advantage of, and they sit there with a smile on their face the whole time.

My smile is way gone. No more. Matt Express Delivery Service via NY to London is officially closed. Why? For one reason, I don't like dragging my luggage around to weigh it before I leave, and I'm not going to start. I'm just not going to put myself in that position to be taken advantage of like that again. I don't deserve it, and other people don't deserve my nice treatment sometimes.

I always knew in my heart that I did too much for Elena, but I wanted to believe she deserved it, not anymore. She even said so herself this weekend that she didn't, and I'm beginning to agree with her. I feel a rant coming on and I want it to stop before I get out of control. I'm just pissed about the money and I know Elena can't pay me back and I have a strong feeling her parents aren't going to reimburse me for it, so I'm stuck paying for it. My dad said he'd pay me bag, but I can stand on my own two feet and take responsibility for my actions, which I plan on doing.

In case you can't tell, I'm pissed, and will be for quite some time. Still don't want to talk about it.

Well, I'm back from London and I will say this, I was expecting a memorable Valentine's Day weekend with Elena, and I got it. I'm not going to really comment too much on it, for a number of reasons. I realize that probably no one has ever come to this site and read this blog, but I also realize that anyone has the potential to, and as a result, I'm going to keep the specifics private. Hell, I may not even tell my friends, Seth especially, just what went on in London, because I'm not sure that they even need to know.

I will say this though, traveling to London sucks ass. I was lugging a whole ton of stuff for Elena, mostly Herbalife. I left work at 4:00 PM and got to the parking place at JFK at like 4:30 or so. The line to wait to get on the shuttle buses was way too long than it should have been. I unload my heavy as hell suitcase and wait on line, in the freezing cold, for over a half hour before the shuttles do show up. The shuttle bus driver takes off like a maniac and I have to fight to stop myself from crushing a French woman and her baby.

I get to the terminal and there is a huge line, the likes of which I've never seen. They take us off that line and put us on another one, which wasn't as long, but definitely wasn't moving, at all. I stand on line for over an hour listening to middle aged women talk about menopause and hormones. Once I finally get to check in, I find out that my bag is 15 pounds overweight due to the stuff I'm taking over for Elena. And how much does American Airlines charge me for 15 pounds of excess baggage? $270!!!! Can you believe that? I can't.

The flight was fine. Once we landed we had to wait to pull into the gate because we were early and the plane that was in our spot hadn't left yet, so we had to wait for a half hour while I listened to a 350 pound guy snore like a pig behind me. I finally get off the plane and go through immigration, get my bag and go to catch the tube. I get to the Underground platform and a train is leaving and of course another one doesn't come along for about twenty minutes. Then, the train stops at a station and stays there for a good 10-20 minutes. I finally get to my stop and drag my bag the mile or so to Elena's. Get there, and drag it up the stairs to her flat. She hung out with me for awhile before she had to head to school. I tried to take a nap, couldn't, then went to see her perform at school, and she was good. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to fully enjoy it. No comment, once again.

After the performance we went back to her flat, talked, and got no sleep. Her roommate came home piss drunk at 3:30 in the morning and woke us up. On Saturday we had to go meet her old landlord and get back her deposit. Then we got ready to go see a matinee of Thoroughly Modern Millie, then grabbed some drinks and appetizers at a Mexican place, then went back to her flat where we ate candy and watched Smallville on DVD. Got no sleep for a second night, no comment.

Sunday we went food shopping so Elena could cook for me. She cooked, we ate, watched more Smallville. Monday I packed up, she took me to the airport and we said goodbye. I had a good flight back with a comfy seat and no problems at JFK aside from having to wait a little too long to get my suitcase from the baggage claim. Got home a little before 9:00 PM, went to sleep around 10:00, woke up this morning feeling pretty good, aside from whatever is still on my mind, and will continue to be for some time about what happened this weekend. Thats all there is to tell. Can't, and won't, say more.

Leaving for the airport in a few hours and I'm pretty sure I'm all set. I have my ungodly heavy suitcase in the trunk of my car. Hopefully I'll be coming home with less, I better. Got my carry-on all packed and of course its heavy too, and I tried my best to trim it down. Need all my portable gadgets, like my laptop, iPod, book, DVD's, etc. They're all charging up now, which is good. It takes my iPod forever to say charged, but I think it holds its battery for a good chunk of time, so I'm not worried.

Got my passport, only checked to make sure I had it a couple of times, as opposed to five thousand, but I'll probably check it again, and again, and again and again. Got my reservation at the parking place, all the stuff I need to lug with me, change of clothes at work and who knows what else. Basically I'm ready. Got my Valentine's Day card to Elena filled out and ready to go. Hopefully she does too. I asked her to fill it out before hand, so hopefully she did, unlike my birthday card which she filled out while we were on our way to dinner on the tube, and I could tell it was rushed.

But enough negative, I'm focusing on the positive which is, in a short while I'll be with Elena and everything will be right in the world. Enough said. So, I'll report back after I get home from London, and enjoy!

Its getting close, although I'm not looking forward to actual travel part, especially now that I've picked up all of Elena's stuff at my house and crammed it into my suitcase. Its a lot of crap I'm lugging across the ocean for this girl. She better love me, thats all I have to say. Just kidding, but it'd be nice to know that the gesture is appreciated.

Had a somewhat busy day at work, which is nice. Hopefully tomorrow will be just as busy and the day will go by fast and tire me out enough so that I can sleep on the plane, because I hate not being able to sleep through at least some of the flight. We'll see what happens. Who knows.

Other than that nothing new to report. Need to swing by Elena's once more tonight to pick up a replacement ATM card for her, then its home to finish packing. I really just have my toiletries bag to pack, I just don't know where I'm going to fit it in my suitcase. I'm sure I'll find some place to jam it into. Not worried.

So thats about it. Peace.

Well, today looks to be mirroring yesterday as far as activity goes. Kind of busy morning which looks to be dropping off in the afternoon. That sucks, let me tell you. Hopefully something, anything will come up and give me something to do. Once can hope.

So I need to swing by Elena's house tonight to get all her stuff I'm bringing with me. Hopefully it will be minus the feminine hygiene products I've had to lug with me on my previous trips. Thats a little ridiculous, but I do it. It's called love.

Thats about it. Need to start packing tonight because I don't like leaving it for the last night, and once I leave my house on Thursday, thats it. Not gonna be back there for a couple of days. I'm real anal about my passport too. I must check to make sure I have the thing like 5,000 times throughout the day, at the airport, on the plane, when I'm there. Better safe than sorry I guess.

Back to work.

It's that time again. Let the countdown begin! Thursday night I leave for London to see Elena and spend Valentine's Day with her and I can't wait. I have a good feeling about this trip, unlike the last one. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time with Elena on my birthday, but I knew she was distracted with school and everything. Plus, last time I had to spend two days on my own in London practically. This time its only an afternoon or two, Friday when I get there and Monday when I leave. Leaving sucks, so I'm not going to talk about it when I'm not even there yet.

So the plan is I get there Friday, meet her at her school and get into her flat. Relax, unwind, unpack, clean up, take a nap, who knows, then go see her perform at school. Then we'll probably just chill Friday night. Saturday we're going to see a show, a Christmas gift from her parents. We were going to go out to dinner, but she mentioned yesterday cooking in again like she did on my birthday, and thats cool with me. Her roommate is going to be at her Aunt and Uncles house for the day/night as its her Aunt's birthday and I think she wants to give us some privacy on Valentine's Day.

Then on Sunday, who knows. Probably just be lazy and relax at her flat watching movies and doing nothing. Then Monday I head to Heathrow Airport and home. Should be fun. Can't wait. Now if only the work week with help me out and speed along. This morning I had stuff to do, but now I got nothing going on, and it sucks. What you gonna do? Nada.

Sometimes. I think, especially now, its just the keyboard on my laptop. I love the give of the keys and the sound it makes as I type away with a fury unseen on any normal day. I know I'm a nerd, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I get excited over stupid computer stuff. I guess I should, considering its how I make my money. Just today I overheard my boss talking about some servers in the office and I had to pop my head in, just because I enjoy talking about this stuff, can't help myself.

So I'm pretty psyched. I'm trying to get Elena to get broadband internet access in her flat since she has none at the moment at all. If she got broadband, even the slowest they offer, which is the same price as dial-up, wee can now video chat!!! All I would have to do is get her a USB 2.0 PC Card for her laptop and a USB 2.0 web-cam and an iSight for myself, update her AIM software and we can see each other across the ocean through the net. How cool is that? I think she was for it, we'll have to see if actually gets the broadband.

I can't see why not. Dial-up makes no sense. Her roommate doesn't have a computer so there is no need to share the access, it would just be through her laptop. I'm pushing really hard for this as I'm even willing to shell out the cost for all the hardware she'd need. Worth it to put a name to a face instead of just talking on the phone. Who knows. It may just be wishful thinking. I hope not.

Anyway, I think my love of typing is wearing off as I get tired and ready for bed at the oh so late hour of 10:30 PM. I'm pathetic, I know, but the dog is passed out, and he's like a baby, I should sleep when he does, because he'll be up and ready to go at like 5:30 AM, even if I'm not. Damn dog. Just a few more days and I'll be in London baby, can't wait!!!!

Well, I'm out, its been a pleasure typing on you PowerBook, you sexy thing with your illuminating ambient light sensor keyboard. You rock! And so does Flickerstick!

Current music - Flickerstick "Fade Into You" (Good Mazzy Starr tune!)

It's been a long ass week, and last weekend wasn't a real weekend because I had to work on Sunday putting 5, 75 lbs servers in a rack, along with a SAN that weighed a good 50 lbs I'd say. Plus I got no sleep the night before, so I started the week off exhausted, and its just kind of followed me throughout the week. I'm sure it didn't help that I gave blood yesterday, I'm sure thats added to my general, overall lethargic feeling.

I'm looking forward to this weekend so I can actually relax some. Doubt I'll have a chance to lounge around and do nothing next weekend when I'm in London. Hopefully this weekend will recharge me and by this time next week I'll be in London with my baby. I can't wait!!! I hope she can't either! I think she's psyched this time around, unlike last time where, as I've stated before, she seemed kind of ambivalent to me coming. But this time, both her and her new roomie are looking forward to it, as am I. Plus, there's nothing better than spending Valentines Day with the person you love. Nothing.

Other than that nothing new to report. Trying to stay busy at work, which is always fun. Can't think of anything else at the moment, but when I do, you'll hear from me. Peace out.

Been pretty busy so far in 2004, which is a good thing. Had a pretty busy week so far too, which is also a good thing. Next weekends jaunt to London will be a much needed dose of R&R if you ask me. I'm highly looking forward to it. I just hope all goes smoothly. I don't want a repeat of the feelings I had in November when I went to visit Elena. That would be bad. I have a strong inclanation that won't be happening. Here's to hoping I'm right.

Other than that nothing new to report. I leave for London in a week and a day and I can't wait. The flying there and getting there part sucks pretty bad, but once I'm there, its good. At least I hope so. I'm really looking forward to seeing Elena's new place and getting to know her roommate better. At least this one is our age, so it won't be so weird to talk to her.

Thats about it with me. Got to get back to work. Peace.