Most people look forward to three day holiday weekends like this one. And most normally I would be one of them. Hell, I love a day off of work just as much as the next guy. But this weekend? Its sucked. I've been trying to keep busy to keep my mind away from all the crap thats been running through it, which shifts every day, or minute, honestly, but it hasn't distracted me too much. I even went into work for a few hours yesterday to run some updates to the servers. Lets just say it didn't do the trick.

Obviously the crux of the problem is Elena. I've gone from basically hating her and wanting to tear her a new one, to being convinced that I should reach out to her and try to reconcile and maybe get back together. Crazy, I know. And like I said previously, Friday and my therapist/psychiatrist appointment can't get here soon enough so that I can try to sort through all these thoughts and feelings with a professional.

Here's what I have so far. I've decided that its very easy to blame someone else when something goes wrong and affects your life, but its very hard to acknowledge the blame that may reside on your shoulders for said event. Yes, its been easy to sit back and blame Elena for our breakup, for her need for a career and how she just cut me out of her life, but I never really took a good look at my role in all that. It was just so much easier to blame her than to take responsibility for my actions.

My thought process is as follows. When she came back from London in September I was just so happy to have her back and I so wanted things to be like they were before she left, and they were, for a time, and I was happy, and I thought she was too. We were looking at engagement rings for crying out loud, to me that was a huge step. But, to me that also signified that she wanted to be with me, forever. And that put one of my deepest and darkest fears to bed. All along, in any relationship I've been in I've always been so terrified that whoever I'm with is going to realize one day that they shouldn't be with me and break up. As a result, to overcompensate for my fear of them leaving me I hold on too tight. I do too much. I love too much. I figure if I do all these things, go way out of my way for them, they'll see what a great guy I am and feel bad about ever considering leaving. I've come to realize thats not a healthy behavior, and something to keep note of for Friday's doctor visit.

All that overbearing stuff I'm sure made Elena feel like I was smothering her, and I definitely think that I was trying to hold onto her way too tightly. While doing that I think I helped push her away instead of making her want to stay. I don't think I'd make the same mistake again. At least I hope so. Maybe this time apart has been good for us, maybe its just what we needed, some freedom from each other so we could define and figure out who we are and what we wanted. I think its a huge step that I've figured this out about myself, but its only the first step. I know I have to dig a little deeper and figure out a root cause for why I do that, and I'm sure it goes back to some self esteem issue or something in my childhood. The point is I know its something I do and can avoid it.

My second point that I've been mulling over is that there is nothing wrong with breaking up and getting back together. I'm sure people do it all the time. The kid I went to U2 with last weekend said he and his girlfriend broke up for a summer but were miserable apart and eventually got back together and they've been together for a total of 7 years now. A girl I work with broke up with her boyfriend for about a year before they got back together and now they're engaged. It happens, why can't it happen to me. The hardest thing is that I know I should wait until after my appointment on Friday to even think about getting in touch with her. The waiting and wondering is hard to do.

I'm afraid to talk about this though, definitely afraid to talk to my friends about it because I don't know if they'd support me on it. Who knows. I'm heading into the city on Tuesday to meet up with Seth and see one of our favorite authors do a reading. We're going to see Chuck Palahniuk, the guy that wrote Fight Club, which is my all time favorite book. I guess I'll talk to Seth about it then and see what happens. I mean, what's the worst that happens, I talk to Elena and it doesn't work out. At least then I know it wasn't meant to happen and then I can really move on.

Now you can see why this has been a weekend of hell and self torment. Fun to be me, right?

I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait for my doctor's appointment next Friday. I think if I have to go any longer before I can get all this crap out of my head and into a professional's to analyze for me, I'm going to go nuts. Damn Elena, damn her to hell. Its all her fault... and well... mine too. Here's the latest.

I still haven't spoken to Elena in the almost three months since we've broken up, but now its taking all kinds of self control I didn't even know existed in me to stop from calling. I don't even know what I want to talk to her about. It honestly fluctuates from minute to minute. Half the time when I'm thinking about her (which is getting to be a greater portion of my day when it used to be just on the drive home) I think about the good times we had, and I get a little happy and nostalgiac, then sad, because I know they're over and gone and they won't ever be back. But the strange thing is I want them back. As crazy as that sounds. I don't know if I want to get back together with her or if I just want to be her friend or what. I have no idea.

Now here's where it gets interesting. After thinking about the good times, I then proceed to remind myself about all the bad times and all the crap she put me through and how I was a moron for taking it all. I think about how she just cut me out of her life and how she never appreciated the things I did for her and reciprocated and especially how she cheated on me, multiple times with multiple people. Its then that I get pretty damn close to hated her with a passion and just downright loathing her and everything she stands for.

Now you can see why this might drive a person crazy, right? Now I can see why I need a psychiatrist/therapist. I can't even believe I just wrote that too. I've also gone from being afraid to just what I'll discover while talking to this doctor to being afraid that she's going to think my problems are nothing and think I'm just being a giant cry baby. Who knows? I'm just sticking with it should be interesting. Now I just need next Friday to get here.

OK, so after going through three different doctors in my health care provider handbook, I finally found one that accepts my insurance and that is accepting new patients. So I have my first appointment slated for next Friday morning. I'm taking the day off from work as its kind of late morning, and who really needs an excuse to take off from work?

So while I'm proud of myself for taking some steps to figure out some of my issues, and I'm sure they run a little deeper than Elena (I really don't want to give her too much credit, she doesn't deserve it), I'm a little scared of the whole process too. Maybe I'm just afraid that once I scratch below the surface I may not like what I see. But I guess thats the whole point, to figure out whats wrong (which probably isn't going to pretty) and fix it.

I just hope its not a lot of me saying something and her saying, "And how does that make you feel?" or blaming my mother for all my problems. Who knows. It'll be an experience, thats for sure.

OK, I have a feeling that this one just may be a doozy, so bear with me here. Last night was quite crazy, I have to admit. Yesterday during the day was spent being lazy and doing nothing really. I went with my older brother to see Star Wars, then came home a took a nap until it was time to get ready to see U2. Met up with Seth's friend who took the ticket, we got some food at the Garden and the concert began. I didn't really care too much for the opening act the Kings of Leon, as I couldn't quite understand what was the guy was saying. I only recognized one song of theirs, because its in the new Jetta commercials with the couple playing the loud music.

Anyway, U2 finally took the stage and they kicked some serious ass. The place was electric. The crowd was loud, and into it and it felt at times like the building shook from all the noise. They played a big selection of songs, but a lot of stuff from their new album mixed in with the oldies but goodies, like Sunday Bloody Sunday, Bullet the Blue Sky, Where the Streets Have No Name, One, Mysterious Ways... stuff like that. The really shocking thing was that they played Vertigo twice. The first time it was the second song in, and then they closed the show with it. Bono explained that in Italian, encore means again, so they were going to play it again.

It really was amazing concert and was definitely worth waiting months for and enduring all the stress that went with finding someone to go with. Seth's friend that I went with, Brian, really was appreciative of the chance to go and I was just thankful that I wouldn't have to scalp the ticket. It was a great show, plain and simple. Getting home was another story.

Let me just get this out of the way now, I now officially hate the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, or the MTA as they're known in New York City. They're the branch of the city thats responsible for all the city buses, trains and subways. For one thing, the show ended just as the train I was going to take home left. There was no way that I was going to leave early, so I was hoping the next train wouldn't be too long of a wait. The show ended at about 11:40, the train I wanted to take was at 11:42, the next one to my station was at 1:46. So yeah, I had to kill two hours in Penn Station. Thankfully I had my iPod and Bejeweled on my cell phone.

The train finally comes and its packed, with drunken retards, which is always fun. I take the train two stops and transfer to another train. Turns out further down the line they're doing track work, on only this Sunday, so I had to get off the train a few stops down and take a bus to another station to transfer to the train I would ultimately take home. I get to that station and it takes a good ten minutes for the train to show up, then another ten minutes just for the door to open, and then, once on the train, I want to say 20-30 minutes just for it to leave the station. By the end of it all, I didn't get home until about 4:30. So yeah, I'm shot today. I don't plan on leaving my bed unless its absolutely necessary today.

And now this brings me to my last point, and I can't believe my head is still going back to this, but it took every ounce of self control I had last night not to get in touch with Elena. Why? I really don't know. Maybe because the original plan was to see U2 with her, or maybe just because I haven't spoken to her since we broke up and I now feel that urge again, and not even to yell at her. Its really screwed up and the more I think about it the more I feel like she really screwed me up mentally. A lot more than I'm willing to admit. In a way I think I was trying to get into another relationship just as a way to avoid dealing with all my feelings towards Elena, our relationship and breakup. I'm actually kind of glad that K didn't feel "it," because now I have to deal with them, and when I am done, I'll actually be ready for a relationship and it can be a healthy one, hopefully.

Half of me wants to be dating someone again, just for the companionship, but the other half of me is still pissed at Elena, and has transferred that anger to all women in general. So I think until that feeling subsides I'm just going to focus on me for awhile. Now here comes the part I haven't really divulged yet. Although my friends are great to talk to and have been really helpful, the fact remains that I still feel like I have a ton of issues and I've been seriously thinking about calling and making an appointment with a professional to talk about this stuff and maybe get to the root of why I'm feeling like this, why I do the things I do and why I let people treat me in certain ways. I've even gone so far as to get the phone number of someone in my area that takes my health insurance and I've been really thinking about calling and making an appointment. I think I just may tomorrow.

I only have two reservations. One is that in order to get the referral to see another doctor I'll have to get it from my doctor, which means my mom will have to get it for me, and I really don't want her to know I feel the need to go see a professional. Hopefully she'll respect my privacy and give me what I need, although I highly doubt it. If she won't, I'll just make an appointment with her boss and get it from him, and hopefully that doctor-patient confidentiality will prevent her from knowing. Two is that I don't want to take any kind of mood enhancing drugs. No anti-depressants, no Prozac, none of that. So we shall see what happens. Hopefully I can sort through all this crap and come out the other end a better person who is more in touch with who I am.

Alright, my bed is calling me. I need sleep. Have a great day everyone.

Damn, who thought finding a single solitary soul to go see a little band called U2 at a little venue known as Madison Square Garden would have been such a pain in the ass, but thankfully, the ticket has been taken, and the taker insists on paying me for it, so its all good. I think its kind of comical that its become this big of a pain, really. I bought the tickets back in January when Elena and I were still going out, so I just assumed I'd be going with her. That went out the window when we broke up, obviously. At that point I had almost three months to find someone and really, that shouldn't have been too difficult. I went out with various girls and sort of dangled the chance to see U2 in front of their eyes, and actually had a taker in K, but then she had to go and change her mind about a whole lot of stuff, so she was out. This was Wednesday, four days before the show.

Enter Seth who became my personal ticket broker. He asked his girlfriend and she wasn't interested. He asked his girlfriends ex-roommates, both of them were busy. I asked everyone I knew and everyone was busy or not interested. Its U2, how can you not be the slightest bit not interested? Anyway, Seth asked another friend of his, a kid I've hung with a few times in Seth's company, and he was nice, and he actually said yes. Well, more than said yes, he jumped at the chance, so much so that I'm afraid he might sexually assault me at the show in order to show his gratitude. OK, so I'm not that afraid as I know for a fact that he has a girlfriend, and a lovely girl at that. He said that after talking to his girlfriend that if he wasn't going to take the ticket she would've. Damn! (I'd never try to steal another guys girlfriend, just for the record, its wrong).

So now that the whole who will take the ticket fiasco is settled I can actually look forward to going to the show. Its going to kick ass! Alright, I'm out. Enjoy the weekend everyone!

So last night was quite interesting. K and I decided to keep it on the friend tip, which is honestly OK with me, as we both seem to have issues of our own to deal with. So its a good decision all around. More importantly, I saw the last new Star Wars film I will ever see in my life last night. And it kicked ass.

I'm not going to divulge anything, because the basics for the story have been laid out in every other movie, its just a matter of seeing it play out on the screen. I went in with somewhat high expectations, but also slightly nervous as Episodes I and II sucked royally, but my expectations were met and somewhat exceeded in places. The film does its job in bridging the gap between the old movie and the new ones.

Now there are some problems. The love story still feels forced and Anakin turns on a dime way too quickly, but whatever, the movie can't be Lord of the Rings long. It was 12:20 by the time I saw it, I don't think I could've taken any more. The action was great and the ending was fantastic. I'm highly looking forward to seeing it again, most likely tomorrow on my day off. I may go again with Mark, not sure. I'm sure I'll see it at least 3 times in the theatres, as Randy won't be joining us tomorrow. I don't mind. I think its that good.

The unfortunate side effect of a midnight movie and work the next morning occurs around 3 PM, and that is the inevitable crash. I'm ready for my bed in the worst way. I just want to go home, attempt to watch last night's two hour episode of Alias and just go to bed. No work tomorrow, but I do have to bring my car in for its 10K mile service at 7:30, but after that I can go home and go to bed. So looking forward to that.

Then Saturday its U2. Still not sure who I'm going with. Seth is trying to line something up for me. If he can't, K said she'd probably go, so we'll see. I'll keep you posted. Back to trying to kill the last hour and a half of my work day. Adios.

Kind of had a feeling this was coming, but coffee with K didn't quite go as plan. I haven't really spoken to her too much since dinner with the family on Sunday, and someone can be only so busy at work. But, we met up for coffee and she basically spelled it out for me as such, she likes me, but she can't seem to get past the friend stage, or something to that effect. I guess she just didn't feel the spark that brings two people to the next stage in a relationship, no matter what she felt. She felt bad about it, which I guess is some consolation, because she said what a great guy I am, but she just couldn't force it. I was honestly cool with it all, because I was taking it slow on purpose and didn't want to rush into anything. So I guess that is that. Not sure if we'll remain friends or what. If so, thats cool, if not, no big deal. Back to the dating game.

Although, honestly, I think I may want to take a break from it for awhile. Its kind of exhausting. I think I'm just going to enjoy my summer and see what happens. Lose this weight I've been meaning to, start feel somewhat better about myself and then we'll see how I feel. Honestly, the only thing I'm slightly ticked about when it comes to the whole K situation is that I need to find someone to go see U2 with on Saturday. Seth can't go, but he said he's going to ask his girlfriend if she wants to. Thats fine with me, as long as I don't have to go with a total stranger.

Oh well. At least I'm off to see Star Wars in an hour or so. That should make me feel better. And, I'll be too much of a sleep deprived zombie tomorrow to really care about anything else except going home and going to sleep.

So tonight should be interesting. What's more interesting though is just how I'm going to function tomorrow, but thats another story. So the plans for tonight are as follows. I'm meeting K for a cup of coffee around 8. Why a cup of coffee? I have no idea. She's been crazy busy at work this week and maybe thats all she has time for. I don't know. I'm sure I'll find out though.

After that its home to relax for an hour or so before I head out with Mark, my youngest brother, to go see a 12:21 AM showing of Star Wars. Yes, I'm that insane. Yes, I probably need help, something I'm seriously looking into. At least it won't be the first time I go to see a midnight showing of a movie, so I know what to expect out of tomorrow (basically, sheer exhaustion). Mark and I went to two last summer, one for Harry Potter and one for Spiderman 2. While Harry Potter wasn't necessary, Spiderman 2 was, as I was leaving for London to go visit my worthless bitch of an ex-girlfriend, and wouldn't be able to see it upon return, and that was too long of a wait in my book. (I'm still a little bitter towards Elena, you catch that?)

Anyway, those are my plans. In between I need to catch up on all the wonderful and fantastic Wednesday night TV, such as Lost, Alias and Smallville. Should be interesting, like I said. Have a great night everyone!

So it was a pretty busy weekend for me. Date Friday night, concert on Saturday, K over for dinner on Sunday. A lot going on, I must say. Thankfully I only had to go to the Hampton's office for a few hours this morning and then left at noon, got home a little after 1, and have been relaxing ever since. Rest is good, I have to admit. So here's how it went down...

I already went into detail on the date, so nothing new to add there.

Saturday I got the dog a bath and a nail trim so that he wouldn't stink like hell when K came over. After I picked him up we proceeded to nap all afternoon, which felt good. I woke up at about 3 or so and headed out to Long Beach to hang out with Seth and Shari before the show. We got some dinner, Shari left to hang out with her friends and Seth and I split a six pack before the concert. We drove the 10 minutes for Shari's place to the Jones Beach theater and met up with Randy and his friend Heather, and then with Seth's brother, Andrew. Headed into the show after Hoobastank played a song or two, and they were OK. I really liked their first album, but I'm so sick of hearing that damn song, "The Reason." Its so damn overplayed and overwrought. They played for about 45 minutes and made way for Velvet Revolver.

I shall just say this, and maybe a little more about Velvet Revolver, but they kicked ass! They rocked and they rocked hard. They played for a good hour and a half, and played mostly stuff off their album. They threw in two tunes off of Stone Temple Pilot's first CD and two songs off of Guns N Roses Appetite for Destruction. Throw in a cover of Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" and it was a damn fine show. The crowd really went wild when, during one of the two encores, Slash came out on stage and put on his leather top hat. They kicked ass, plain and simple. Great show, end of story, period.

I spent a good chunk of Sunday doing absolutely nothing, except relaxing. Had to run and errand or two for work and for my mom, then just came home and watched TV until K came over at 5. It was a little weird, the first meeting of the family and the new lady friend (the topic of boyfriend/girlfriend still has not come up). My mom made a fantastic meal complete with chocolate cream pie for dessert. We ate, talked and had a good time, I thought. I think K really enjoyed herself, which is good. After dinner we all sat down and watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

I don't know if anyone caught last night's episode, but it was filmed in my home town. The fire house that they showed a bunch of times is less than a mile from my house. It was kind of cool to see my town on TV like that, and in such a positive light. The house they built for that guy was amazing, thats for sure. And of course he deserved it, as it was a pretty bad sob story that was his life. The guy is a county cop, and has three boys under the age of five, and his wife died of cancer 7 months ago. She wanted him to keep the little house they built, but it was too small, and they were going to expand on it, until she got sick. So they basically tore the whole thing down and built a new one from scratch and it looked amazing. I've been meaning to drive by the house, but haven't gotten around to it. I know its on a dead end street, and after filming was complete there were signs and barricades up saying residents only. Maybe in a week or so when the hype dies down I'll take a spin down there and check it out. It was cool.

Anyway, I shall be spending the rest of my afternoon relaxing, and currently I'm watching "Assault of Precinct 13." Back to it.

The first real "date" with K went off quite well I must say. I showed up on time, with flowers in hand and of course how can you not be well received when you're bearing flowers. We headed over to his Italian place in the town she lives in and had a really good meal and a decent bottle of wine. The talk was good. We had some coffee and dessert and headed out. We went back to her place and sat around her den talking with her roommate and listening to music. Then when it got to almost midnight she kicked me out because she had to get up and work this morning. Ouch! So it was a good time and I'm excited for her to come over and meet my family on Sunday. It should be interesting to say the least.

She was asking me last night what I've told my family about her, and I said the basics, like name, age, occupation, where she lives, where she went to school, stuff like that. And I also mentioned the fact that she looks like my brother's best friend's sister. Follow that one? Randy has a best friend named Jason, who I guess is my friend too, and Jason has a sister named Amy, and K looks a little like what I remember Amy to look like, only because I haven't seen Amy in years. I mentioned that to K last night and she said really? And then added that people have always told her that she looks like Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years. When she mentioned that I saw it instantly. Funny, huh?

Anyway, plans for today include getting the dog a bath and sleeping. I am saving my strength for tonight. I'm heading to Long Beach in the afternoon and Seth and I, who will be meeting up with his brother and my brother and a friend of his at Jones Beach to see Velvet Revolver, with Hoobastank opening up. Hopefully it won't rain and it'll be a kick ass show. Then, next week, U2 at Madison Square Garden. I cannot wait for that.

Alright, must get showered and dressed and bring the dog to get cleaned and a manicure. Have a great weekend everyone!

So my "date" with K got rescheduled from last night to tonight. She wasn't feeling too well and called me on my way home to reschedule. That's cool. I just hope the flowers I bought last in the fridge in the garage until tonight. That would suck. Anyway, off to the Hamptons for two hours of work or so. Honestly, if I do more than that I'll be shocked and surprised. Have a great Friday everyone!

So I have plans to go out with K tonight. And for some reason, despite the fact that we've gone out and hung out a handful of times, she's considering tonight our first real date. Whatever that means. I'm not so sure. Maybe someone can tell me. Regardless, I'm looking forward to it. I guess maybe its the first real date because this'll be the first time I go, pick her up, take her somewhere and drop her back off at home in that traditional date sense. I really don't know. I just know that I want to get out of work already and the last hour and a half can't pass soon enough. Waiting sucks sometimes.

Anyway, I need to get out of here, go home and get ready and then head out to get her. Thankfully tomorrow I have to go out to our Hamptons offices, which basically will equate to working for about an hour or two, tops. I'll honestly probably spend more time driving there and back than I will working. Which isn't so bad, I guess.

I'm not sure what my plans are, if there are any, for tomorrow night. Saturday I'm heading to Long Beach most likely to hang out with Seth before we head to Jones Beach, which is like 10 minutes away, to go see Velvet Revolver in concert. That I'm looking forward to and hopefully the weather will hold up, because seeing a concert at an outdoor arena in the rain is never a fun thing.

On Sunday K is coming over for the "Meet the Family" dinner and that should be really interesting. I'm sure it'll go fine though. Everyone thinks their family is a bunch of freaks when they're really just normal. But then again, my family can be kind of odd. My older brother Randy can be anti-social at times, but seems to turn on the charm around women that he can't or won't ever have, which is odd. My younger brother Mark seems to have been born without the gene that controls simple things like tact. He's always saying the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times and thinks there's nothing wrong with what he says. He's always been like that, and it can be embrarassing. My parents are normal, I guess. Who knows.

Alright, enough babbling out of me. Just one hour and 17 minutes to kill. Wish me luck!

But unfortunately I am. I got the worst night of sleep last night. I kept waking up after only an hour or two of sleep, tops. It tends to make a person very irritable and tired. I'm just trying to get through the day without causing anyone major bodily harm. We'll see how that goes. Thankfully I got plenty of sleep Sunday night, and most of Sunday day as well. I went out with K on Saturday night, late. We just drove around and she showed me some of her favorite places, and managed to hit both the north shore and south shore of Long Island. Not really hard, as the island is only about 10-15 miles wide. After driving around we just sat in my car talking until about 3:00 AM. Then I went home, and went to sleep and was woken up by Keyser an hour or two later. But to make up for it I slept most of Sunday away, and passed out for the night at about 9 PM. Pathetic huh?

So things are going pretty good with K and I'm feeling good about it. We'll see where it goes. We're going out for Italian food in her town on Thursday night and then Sunday I invited her over to the house for a meet the family dinner. Not sure if thats moving too soon, but I was telling her all about my family in detail on Saturday, including Keyser and she said she wanted to meet them all. My parents obviously want to meet her too, so I figured that works out best. We'll see how it goes. Cross your fingers as Sunday is a long way away!

Anyway, back to work, or more likely, going out to get lunch in a few minutes. Hope everyone had a good Mother's Day and is having a decent week so far. The weekend can't come soon enough!

So I went out to dinner last night with my parents, Grandma, aunt, uncle and brother for some good Chinese food. My mother has been going to this guys restaurants (not this particular one) since she was a teenager I think, so the owner, this funny old Chinese guy, knows my family pretty well, so it was a very enjoyable meal. Dessert comes, which was ice cream with fortune cookies. I grab mine, open it up and read it and almost laugh out loud at just how much bullshit it was trying to sell me. It said:

"If you continually give, you will continually have."

All I could think to myself was, whoever wrote that has obviously never dated any of my ex-girlfriends.

So it was Cinco De Mayo last night, and unfortunately, the only Mexican restuarant in town, besides a burrito place or two was completely packed, complete with an hour long wait. So instead of waiting for a ridiculous amount of time, K and I headed to a pub down the street instead. Had some good food, a few beers and a good time. Things went really last night I'm happy to report. She could tell, and even said that I was less guarded than I had been on previous outings with her and later on I told her that everything I told her two weeks ago I was throwing out the window and I wanted to see where things would progress between the two of us, because I do like her. So we shall see. After dinner we headed to my favorite place of all time to drink some more, John Harvards. After that we went back to my house where her car was parked, said goodbye (which consisted of making out in my street for a good ten minutes) and called it a night. All around a good time.

Not sure if I'm going to able to see her before next week, and that's OK. I'm all about taking my time at this point. Don't want to rush into anything hard core at the moment. Just willing to take it slow and see what develops. I'm going out to dinner with my parents, aunt and uncle (probably) and my grandma tomorrow night for Mother's Day. Then afterwards probably getting together with Seth and Shari at, where else, probably John Harvards (the beer is fantastic I tell you! Trust me on this. I was going to the bathroom there last night and one of the brewing tanks said raspberry red. I love red beer, so add raspberry and I'm all over it). Anyway, so we'll probably go out there later tomorrow night and I invited K to join us if she likes or has time after going out to dinner with her brothers and grandfather. If we can't get together we have a date set for Thursday night, which is the first night she's free. All good in my book.

Nothing else really planned for the weekend. Need to run some errands tomorrow, like getting my mom a Mother's Day and birthday cards. Her birthday is on Wednesday, so it almost always coincides with Mother's Day, which makes gift giving convenient. We just basically double whatever amount of a gift certificate to Williams Sonoma that we would normally give. She loves that place as she loves to cook, and its the only gift we've ever given her that she's used, so we stick with what works. We (meaning Randy (my older brother) and I) also went in together on a gift certificate to the nail salon she goes to every Saturday to get her nails done. Good gifts all around I think.

So that's about it. Going to relax this evening and catch up on some TV I've missed this week, like Alias, Medium and last week's Numb3rs. Have a good weekend everyone and wish your mother's a happy Mother's Day!

Does anyone else think its weird that todays date is 05/05/05? Or is it just me? Well anyway, happy Cinco de Mayo! Another holiday manufactured to sell Corona and margaritas, unless you're Mexican of course, in which case you have a legitimate cause for celebration. So tonight's plans are that K is going to meet me at my house, and I'm going to drive to this great little Mexican place in town for some good food and alcohol. After that, who knows. I think it'd be a good idea to tell her that I'm willing to put aside my "meet as many people as possible" policy and to just see where things go with her. Should be interesting since it was only two weeks ago that I was pretty firm in this policy. But a lot can happen in two weeks (like two dates I'm not interested in), so we'll see what happens.

In other news, work is busy as hell this week, which is good, I think. Stressful somewhat, but it beats being bored. Alright, back to work so I can get out of here on time to get home and get ready for my date. Wish me luck! Adios!

So its been a pretty hectic two days of work, complete with me being paranoid and thinking my boss was going to call me into his office to fire me. Don't ask me why I thought that, according to him he was just going to "gripe" which is his new word for "chew a new ass." But I was able to defuse the gripe session and all was good. Basically, we've discovered that one of the laptops that we loan out to attorneys when they need them has gone missing and we had no idea who had it. It wasn't logged out to anyone, so we have no clue who has it, or how to find it. I was charged with trying to recover it, but every idea I had got me nowhere and wouldn't have worked. So my boss was pissed about that. Then he thought that someone walked off with a loaner Blackberry we have, but thankfully no. I explained that the newbie claimed it as his own when he started. So crisis and unemployment averted. Close call. Still don't know why I thought the worst.

Anyway, in other news I have a date, or a non-date as she calls it with K on Thursday. It'll be Cinco de Mayo, so that means Mexican food and getting drunk on margaritas or sangria. Should be fun. We'll see what happens as I think I'm done with my meeting as many people as possible thing and just want to see where things would end up with her if we hung out more. I already invited her to go see U2 with me on May 21, and she accepted, so that should be fun, hopefully.

I'm currently sitting at home, alone. Just me and Keyser. My parents went to go meet my mom's cousins who are in a 5 hour layover from somewhere. They live in Israel so naturally we don't see them that often. So good for parents. Randy is off at some sport he'll most likely injure himself playing, and of course Mark is still up at school. So just me and the dog. We're currently relaxing in my bed, while he licks my legs. Its gross, but it keeps him quiet and I'm used to it.

Last but not least, Nine Inch Nails released a new album today called "With Teeth," it kicks ass, go buy it now!

I am so exhausted, its not even funny. Walking around New York City all day will do that to you. So the rundown of yesterday is as follows. Met T in the city and we headed to the Museum of Modern Art, which was really interesting, but kind of weird. I don't know. A lot of the stuff there I was just shaking my head at, wondering what the hell made it art, but thats just me. We had a good time, but I don't think I'd be interested in pursuing a relationship with her. She's not really my type and there is a considerable physical distance between us, and I don't want to be with someone I can only see once or twice a week on weekends. Thats what I had with Elena, and it wasn't cool with me. She is really nice and fun to talk to, so I'm not sure if we would still be friendly or not. Its up to her, I guess. I don't know, that would be kind of weird. Who knows. So that just leaves K in the picture at the moment and I guess I'll see where things go with her. If they develop into something, cool, if not, that's cool too. Not looking for a relationship right now, so whatever happens is OK with me.

OK, off to watch some TV and go to bed.