So I'm heading out of work early to meet up with my housemates to sign the lease to our new house! I'm excited. Afterwards I think the plan is to grab a bite to eat and start discussing things and get to know each other, which should be interesting. The only thing I'm waiting for is a guarantee agreement that one of the partners here that deals with this type of stuff said he'd whip up for me. I hate to bug him about it, but I do need it before the end of the day. I asked him about it yesterday and he said it doesn't take long, which is a good thing. Maybe there's an underling he can assign it to? I shall walk past his office when I'm done posting this and find out the status and let him know what time I'm leaving.

The agreement thing is a little different than I thought it was going to be. Basically, as the signer of the lease I am responsible for 100% of the rent, which I can't afford, obviously. With this agreement in place, it basically states that everyone is responsible for an equal share of the rent. So with four people, everyone has to pay 1/4 of the total rent. No brainer right? Here's where it got interesting. If someone has a mental breakdown, moves out and skips out on paying rent, instead of the burden falling on me, it falls on all of us. So instead of a 1/4 of the rent, we'd each have to make up that missing persons share and pay 1/3 of the rent. And of course, since the person breached the agreement they signed, we're entitled to get our money back. I think that covers all the bases.

In other news I can't believe that June, and the first half of the year is over. Its definitely been a crazy month, and crazy 6 months at that, but June especially has been nuts. I plan on going into detail a little more later with a half year recap and whatnot, if only to entertain myself. And, I've managed to post something everyday in June. Hope you found the constant updates nice and reasurring and entertaining.

Alright, I'm out. Have a great last day of June!

OK, now if I was just tired yesterday, I'm totally exhausted and shot today. But, I was still good and woke up a little before 5 when Keyser woke up, hopped on the bike and rode for a good 45 minutes. Gonna try to do it every morning and stick to the diet. Its that simple, so it should work.

So last night was interesting. I finally got a copy of my lease, and honestly, I don't know what the hell the holdup was. All it contained was a basic form lease, with one or two things thrown in. It could've taken two minutes to throw together and fax, and it took two days. Go figure. So I have it, and all I need to get are the full names of my other housemates from Shari and I'll be good to go. I think I have them all, I just want to be sure of the spelling and whatnot.

So after I printed a copy for myself, I practiced some guitar and settled in for the night to watch the idiot, I mean the President on TV. Don't get me started on that. I went downstairs to watch with my dad because Bush said he was going to explain the Iraq situation and I just had to hear that. Of course there was no explanation, but that was to be expected. When I went back upstairs I checked my cell phone as I was waiting for a call from Shari with the last girls full name and there was a message waiting for me. Before I had a chance to check it my home phone rang, I answered and it was Elena. She wanted to know if I wanted to go see a movie. I said sure, why not.

We met up at caught "The Longest Yard," because she's a huge Adam Sandler fan. I would've preferred "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" because I think Angelina Jolie is gorgeous, but you can't win all the time. Although to make up for it, all I have to say is the beginning of that movie features Courtney Cox as Sandler's girlfriend and all I can say is she must've made that movie right after having her kid because damn... the cleavage and huge chest size. She never, ever looked like that on Friends. So it was a good movie, funny, entertaining, all that. We had a nice time, walked out, said goodbye and I went home. So far so good on the friend front. We'll see what happens next time we hang out. Its just a little weird that she seems to be taking a much bigger interest in me since I've mentioned that I'm moving out. Who knows what'll happen, but like I've said, I have no expectations out of my friendship with her. I really can't because I know better.

So now I'm exhausted and it should be fun getting through the day. Tomorrow I go to sign the lease, along with all my new housemates, although my name is the only one on it. Then I think we're going out to dinner to talk about things and finalize some details and whatnot. Should be fun.

Alright, back to work. May this day go by quickly!

So day 2 of the new regime continues, and despite constantly grabbing the little Werthers candies my boss keeps on his desk, I'm good. I just need to lay off the candy, but I think after I eat lunch I'll be OK and not so hungry. Then the real challenge is when I get home to not snack on crap. Its a battle I know I can win, and must win!

Keyser woke me up at about 4:30 this morning and once I heard the rain outside I knew it would be in my best interest to get up and exercise then. I did a good 45 minutes on the bike, got ready for work and headed out the door at 6:30. Despite the early hour it still took me an hour to get into work because of the rain. Just think how bad it would've been had I left later? Damn, I shudder to think.

At the moment my head is really hurting. I forgot to take my contacts out last night and slept with them in. I took them out when I got up and when I was getting ready this morning I really didn't want to put them back in, so I decided to wear my glasses today. I'm not used to wearing them all that much, so prolonged wearing causes my head to hurt. Then, when I take them off and can't see so well, it hurts again. I'm trying to figure out which is the lesser of two evils here, and so far I can't.

On the house front, I'm awaiting a copy of the lease the real estate guy is supposed to fax to me. They want me to sign it on Thursday, but I'm not signing a damn thing until I get a chance to look it over first and have a lawyer in my office draw up the neccessary documents so I don't get screwed being the only person with their name on the lease. Its just common sense. I hope they don't expect me to go in on Thursday and just blindly sign it. No way, no how. It sjust frustrating because I want this all done with so I can get ready to move in already.

Speaking of, I need to find cheap movers or something. I don't have a lot of stuff, but I'm moving in the middle of August, onto the second floor and I have no desire to drag my bed and dresser and desk and any other stuff myself. Yeah, I'm lazy, but so what? We shall see. First things first, and thats the lease. Where is it already???

I've decided that today I'm turning over a new leaf and I'm finally going to take control of a couple things that seem to be spiriling out of control in my life, mainly diet and exercise. So as of this morning at 5 AM, I am back on track and determined to stay. My goal is to basically look a whole lot different by the time I move out of my parents house. My reasoning is this, I'm going to be living with three women, and although I would never hook up with any of them, especially Seth's girlfriend, they all do have friends, and when they tell their friends that they live with a guy, I don't want them saying that he's fat. So there. I rode the bike for a good 40 minutes this morning and felt good. Now all I need to do for the rest of the day is stick to the diet and not eat crap. Easier said than done, but I've done it before, so I'll do it again.

I got plenty of sleep last night, and thanks to Keyser swimming about 50 laps in the pool, he slept until 5, which was when I woke up, which was a good thing. I passed out at about 10 last night, after taking a nap between 5:30 or so until about 8. Watched som TV then went to bed. I think thats the key, getting enough sleep at night. If I do that, waking up early to exercise or if Keyser wakes me up won't be so bad.

In other news I go to sign the lease to the house on Thursday, and we'll be moving in on August 15th, which is good because its right before my parents go away to Hawaii for two weeks, so they can help with the setup and whatnot. I just need a faxed copy of the lease to give to a lawyer here so they can draw up the guarantee agreement for my housemates so I can cover my ass, in the even of something going wrong and someone not being able to come up with enough rent.

Also, my guitar practicing has been frustrating to no end, but I'm sticking with it. My teacher told me this week's lesson would be tough, but have a huge payoff in the end, so I'm optimistic. Sometimes I think I just don't have the coordination to play, or that my fingers are too big or my hands to weak from breaking bones, but those are just excuses. I'm gonna stick with it, because I enjoy it, and I'll get good one day. My goal is to build up my repertoire of acoustic songs to impress the ladies at the inevitable house warming party we'll throw in the new place. I mean, if you had some guy playing the guitar and singing a mellow song to you, and you were a girl, you'd melt too, right? Hell, isn't that one reason people get into bands in the first place, for the women?

Alright, I'm out as I'm expecting a fun phone call from someone at Microsoft. Enjoy the rest of your Monday!

OK, well, maybe never is a bit too harsh a statement to make, but it will definitely be awhile before I ingest that much alcohol again. But, regardless of the room spinning at the end of the night, I had a great time at Seth's party last night. I was having such a good time I crashed at Seth's instead of taking the last train home, which was as 1:45 (The next one wasn't for 5 hours). All in all, a fun weekend. Now I'm exhausted.

We heard back from the house people and we'll most likely be signing the lease on Thursday with August 15 as the move in date. Can't wait!

I just got back from my guitar lesson and it looks like this weeks work is going to be tough, with no song I actually know to practice. But, my teacher said, that once I get down what I'm working on this week, that I could probably start playing about 80% of the songs that are out there, which is definite incentive to get it down pat. Its just going to be a little tough as my hand was definitely cramping up trying to work some of it, and thats not a good thing. When it hurts anywhere but your fingertips, STOP! Have to keep that in mind.

But, even though its tough, I'm not going to give up. All it takes is time. Its like learning how to type. At first you have to stare at the keyboard all the time or you're going to make mistakes. Do it enough, and you can type without looking. Granted I don't type like you're supposed to with four finger on each side of the keyboard, but I get by just fine and quick enough without it.

Tonight I am going into the city to Seth's place as he is throwing a "We Pay So Damn Much In Rent, Let's Party!" party. Should be fun. And seriously, the kids share of the rent is like $1000 a month, split between two other roommates, you do the math. My $625 doesn't sound so bad. Then again, he's got a nice place in Manhattan, and its pretty centrally located. Pretty close, but yet at the same time, far enough away from Times Square. So its cool. Looking to have a good time, thats for sure!

Alright, I'm out to relax for an hour or two before I leave. Have a great night everyone and keep on keepin' on!

You know, for someone who's supposed to be saving every penny I have so I can move out of my parents house, I seem to spend a lot of money on concerts tickets. After weeks of beating down my brother he finally caved in and agreed to go see Green Day with Jimmy Eat World at Giants Stadium right before Labor Day, on September 1st. He didn't want to go because he thinks Giants Stadium is too far, because its in New Jersey. Its actually closer than he thinks, he just didn't want to drive, so I volunteered. Only now do I realize that Septmeber 1st is when I'll probably be signing my lease and moving in, so I guess moving in will be postponed until Labor Day weekend. Unless we get in on the 15th of August which everyone else wants. Speaking of, I have a dinner get together with my housemates next week on Thursday so we can hammer out the various details, like who gets what room and who needs what and stuff like that. Should be cool to sit down and get to know each other better, since we will be living together.

So here's the rundown of concerts that I've been to already this summer season, and those I shall be attending.

May 14th - Velvet Revolver @ Jones Beach
May 21st - U2 @ Madison Square Garden
June 21st - Tom Petty with The Black Crowes @ Jones Beach
July 13th - Weezer with Taking Back Sunday @ Nassau Coliseum
September 1st - Green Day with Jimmy Eat World @ Giants Stadium
September 6th - Coldplay @ Madison Square Garden
September 15th - Pearl Jam @ Centre Bell (Montreal Canada)

I know I need my head examined but I'm a firm believer in the overall power of music in a person's life. I know I've babbled about this before, but I'm becoming a strong believer, even more so than before, that the music that we choose to listen to is the soundtrack of our lives. Music has the power to instill and evoke emotion like nothing else. I know that music has gotten me through a lot of tough stuff in my life, especially in the last four months or so. And I think my new hobby of learning to play guitar has an important part to play in my belief as well. After years of listening I can finally create, albeit in nothing no one would probably want to hear, yet. But I'm determined to get good, if its the last thing I do.

So my message of the day is this, music is good.

Last night as I was leaving work I was bracing for the worst. According to my dad the cable repairmen still hadn't shown up. I was preparing for yet another night with no TV and no Internet. Thankfully, when I finally did get home the cable van was parked in front of the house and my dad was there supervising. Somehow, and I have no idea how this happens, the wire that runs from the street to the house got cut, so the guy ran a temporary wire, basically along the lawn to get us back up, and they'll come back in a 6-8 weeks to bury it. Hopefully no one will trip on the cable or cut it, because going without it was not fun.

And thankfully its Friday as well. I'm tired. I need the weekend. I was up late working on something last night for work and was in super early this morning as well. The OT is nice and I'll need it for moving, so its not so bad. I'm just tired, and I don't like that. I'm looking forward to the weekend, thats for sure. Got my guitar lesson tomorrow afternoon, and then the party at Seth's. Not sure what else I have planned, but as long as it involves some rest, I'm good!

Nothing else to report, unfortunately. Have a great weekend everyone!

I came home from the Tom Petty concert on Tuesday night to find that the cable in my house was out. So, no TV and no Internet. Not the biggest deal in the world at 1 AM or when you're getting ready to go to work the next morning. It did suck however to get home yesterday and have the cable still be out. What does it take to get a repairman out there? I came home and my mom was on the phone arguing with the cable company and she even snagged a $20 credit on our next bill due to the outage. They were supposed to send someone to the house and call her at work beforehand, but they never called, even though they claimed they did.

My dad is staying home today, not sure if its because of the cable or some other reason. I don't know what he'll do with himself without TV or the Internet, but I'm sure he'll manage. He can bond with Keyser after Keyser nearly bit his finger off last night tring to grab a graham cracker. But seriously, my dad should know better than to try to eat anything with Keyser sitting in his lap. I know I wouldn't dream of that. I'd shove his little doggy butt to the floor if he even thought of sitting next to me while I ate something.

I can only hope that the cable is back on when I get home. Another night without it would definitely be really hard to stomach. Its amazing how much you take this stuff for granted, isn't it?

Let me just say it was a damn fine concert. We got there a little bit late and didn't get a chance to catch all of the Black Crowes set, but what we saw was good. They jammed just a little too much for my taste, but they're good musicians, so its allowable. I was a little ticked that they didn't play some of their bigger hits like "Hard To Handle" and "Kickin' My Heart Around," but they don't seem like the type of band to play their hits. I mean, Chris Robinson (however the hell he got Kate Hudson is beyond me, and I want to know his secret) was going on about the Summer Solstice, so that right there is an indication that he's a little whacked. Then there was his dancing, which was funny (maybe Kate likes the crazy dancing).

Tom Petty was damn good though. He played mostly a list of his greatest hits, which was nice. Only one or two songs I didn't know. He's an even weirder guy than the lead singer of the Black Crowes, but the crowd loved it. And the Heartbreakers are an excellent backup band, so I had no complaints on that front either. Good show all around. I'm just exhausted as all hell this morning since I didn't get home until about 1 and Keyser woke me up at the regular old time of 4:30 in the morning. I need to break him of that habit, and now!

Next up in the Summer Concert Series, Weezer with Taking Back Sunday, Wednesday, July 13th at the Nassau Coliseum, which is thankfully across the street from my office. Seriously, I could walk there, its that close, and it'll save me $6.75 in parking. Nice!

So for some reason, with the house rental, the landlord only wants one person's name on the lease so in the event that we're late, he only has to chase down one person and not four. Being a stand up guy, and the only guy for that matter, I volunteered. For some reason whenever I mention that there is only one name on the lease most people say make sure it isn't yours! Well, not too late in that respect, but I volunteered anyway. I asked one of the partners at my office who deals with real estate if there was some kind of contract he could whip up to cover my own ass so that I can't get screwed by my roommates (not that I'm expecting to, but like I said, just want to cover my ass, just in case). He said all he would need is the cover page of the lease, the names of the people involved and he could whip up some kind of guarantee agreement so I don't get screwed. Its nice working for lawyers sometimes, but just sometimes.

So that is all that is new over here. Looking forward to the weekend as Seth is throwing a little shindig at his apartment in the city. Should be fun and I'm looking forward to getting drunk and trying to chat up single women. Good luck to me! Adios everyone, happy hump day!

My office building was holding a blood drive today, and its been awhile since I've donated, and even longer since they did it without screwing up, so I figured what the hell, I'll donate. I feel fine now, but I'm just wondering if it was the best idea considering that I'm going to a concert tonight and will probably drink a little bit. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm a big guy, I got a lot of blood to give, whats a pint?

If I happen to pass out at some point later in the day from it, I'll let you know so you can say, "I told you so."

Finally! I think we finally have the house rental stuff worked out to the point where we can start proceeding with things to get a lease signed so we can move in. Anticipated move in date is either August 15th (which all the girls would prefer as school starts Sept. 7), or at the latest September 1st. it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. I'd actually prefer to move in later, but thats just me. Whenever it becomes available I'll move in.

So we came to some kind of compromise on the parking situation and here it is. Its really stupid, trust me. There is a law in the village we're moving into the limits parking on all village streets to two hours. There's going to be something like 8 cars parking at our property (4 for us, two for the two guys next door, and two for the husband and wife that live in the carriage house). Now, in all likelihood we could park our cars in the street and never hear a complaint. There's probably a 99.9% chance of never getting in trouble over it. The owner of the house is worried about that 0.1% though, and in the event that someone does complain, he wants a solid contingency plan in place. So, if need be, if we have to move a car or two, we need a definite place to put it. There's no long term public lots or anything in the area, so that idea was out.

This is what we worked out. Shari's parents have a friend who just happen to live right down the road from where we'll be living. We went knocking on their door and asked them, if we ever needed to, could we park a car in their driveway, which is plenty big. They said yes, as long as its not an all the time thing, which I don't it will ever be. So, in the event that we need to, we can park a car or two there. All we need is a signed letter from the neighbors saying its ok for us to park there if we need to and the owner will be satisfied and we can move on.

How silly is all this? Very, but the other house we looked at wasn't the greatest. It was a little bigger with more space inside, a big backyard, a deck and an extra half bath, and rent would probably be cheaper. Sounds better, right? Not really. Not for us. Its not as close to town, and the town rocks, by the way. There's like almost everything we'll ever need in walking distance, which is awesome. Although this other place had four bedrooms, one was the size of a closet, and the washer and dryer were inside the house, but in someone's bedroom. So that was out.

So its all worked out and we can finally proceed with things.

In other news, the plan was to go see a movie with Elena yesterday and that plan fell through, which I kind of had the feeling it would. I spoke to her when I left the house hunting and she said she'd call me later and we'd work out details. I kind of knew then that it probably wouldn't happen, and when she called me back and I gave her showtimes she said they were too late as she had to get up early to go to an audition. Like I said, I kind of had the feeling that would happen. I told her to call me when she could go again, so we'll see how long from now that is.

In the meantime, tonight I am going to Jone's Beach with Seth, Shari, and Seth's brother Andrew to go see Tom Petty and the Black Crowes. Should be a good show. Hopefully the weather will be nice as well. Thats the one bad thing about outdoor concerts, rain or shine. And no one like the rain!

Alright, must get ready for work. Have a good day everyone!

I could not, for the life of me, fall and stay asleep last night. As a result, I'm shot this morning. I went to bed around 11, but found myself up at like 1, unable to go to sleep, grabbed a late night snack at 2, watched some Rescue Me on DVD until I fell asleep, and then Keyser woke me up at 4:30, my alarm at 5:30, again 10 minutes later when the snooze wore off, until I finally dragged my ass out of bed at 6:30 to shower and get ready. Now you can understand why I'm so tired.

The sad thing is I didn't really do anything yesterday. I went to the movies with my brother's to see Batman Begins, which was really good by the way. Had dinner and dessert in the form of an ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery, watched TV and went to bed. Weird, I know.

I'm taking a half day today to meet Shari and the rest of my future hosuemates to look at a different place as well as discuss parking options for the place we already know we want. Its getting a little frustrating, but hopefully we'll figure something definite out soon so we can get the ball rolling and figure out a move in date.

I also have tentative plans to go catch a movie with Elena tonight. Should be interesting to test out our new friendship. I really have no expectations out of the whole thing. If it works, great, if it doesn't, oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained is the old saying. If you never try then you'll never know, is another.

So we shall see on a lot of fronts and I will be sure to report back details as soon as I have them. Until then, adios.

OK, I'll admit it, I wasn't too psyched about going to see a Broadway show yesterday, but I went in with an open mind, and let me tell you, for a Broadway show, Wicked was amazing! Really, really good stuff, believe me. I shall get to some details in a second, but first, was dinner.

We went to this place called Carmine's, which is southern style Italian, family style. That basically means one dish serves about 2-3 people, and one order of pasta about 3-4, depending. The food was really good. I had some chicken parm and penne a la vodka. When it came time for dessert my eyes went right to the tiramisu on the dessert menu. One problem was I didn't look at the price. Dessert comes around and instead of an individual serving of tiramisu, they bring out a giant bowl to share with everyone. I was shocked, but then after looking at the menu, it was like $15, so that would explain it. It was damn good tiramisu too, although after passing it around the table it was only about half gone by the time we left. So good though.

OK, so onto the show. Wicked is basically like a prequel to the Wizard of Oz, but its all about the two witches involved, Glinda, the good witch (who was hilarious) and Elphaba, who becomes the Wicked Witch of the West. It was really smart how they blended in all the things you know from the Wizard of Oz into it and interesting to see how the story is really turned around. For example, the Wicked Witch of the West, and her sister who gets the house dropped on her, weren't exactly evil. They were just made out to be like that by the Wizard, who I guess could be the ultimate bad guy of the show. They threw in occasional lines from the movie that got a laugh, like someone saying "There's no place like home," or someone rattling off a list of three things and then saying, "Oh my!" My little brother was cracking up through the whole thing, so it must've been funny. Its been forever since I've seen the Wizard of Oz, and honsetly, the last few times I did watch it, I played Pink Floyd's "Dark Side Of The Moon" over it to get the weird syncronicity (try it, start Dark Side during I believe the MGM lions third roar. You'll know if its right if you hear a dramatic change in the music when the producers name comes on screen.) Anywat, great show. If you're ever in NYC and want to go, I highly recommend it.

A very important thought hit me on the ride home last night pertaining to Elena. I think that now I can finally move on and put all that behind her. I know I said we're going to try to be friends, and thats still true, its just something thats kind of weird to explain, so I'll try. It came to me that the show and everything last night seemed like the last thing that Elena and I had planned together before we brokeup. Her birthday already passed three weeks after we brokeup and I sold her the tickets I got her and then went home and got drunk with Brett that night. We were supposed to go see U2 together, but I went with someone else. And she was supposed to come see Wicked with us last night. Now that I think about it, I don't think there were any other events that we planned together. Last night was the last one. Maybe in some way that can help my thought processes, you know? I don't know if I'm making any sense, but it made perfect sense to me last night.

Enough babbling. Plans for today consist of really nothing. Hopefully I'll go see Batman Begins as my brother's friend Jay wussed out on me Friday night. I'm hoping to go today as it looks good and I've heard nothing but positive stuff about it. Other than that I have a full day of lounging around to do. I plan on practicing some guitar. My teacher gave me some things to practice to help with moving my hand up and down the nexk, and other exercises to help moving my hand up and down the strings while in the same place (if that makes sense). The second part also happens to be the beginning to Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit", so thats kind of cool. I also brought Filter's "Take A Picture" and he worked out the chords, which were pretty much the ones I found on the Internet and the strumming pattern as well, so I'm going to work on that. He actually said its a good one to work on at this point in time. He said I'm getting better and in a few weeks time everything will start coming together nicely. I'm looking forward to that as I really enjoy playing.

Tomorrow I am taking a half day off from work and meeting Shari, and I think the other girls I'll be living with as we're going to look at another place. There's still some debate over the parking situation at the house we want, so they're showing us a house where parking won't be an issue as well as discussing options for parking at the place we already saw and liked. Its a little annoying, frustrating and stupid, but I'm hoping it'll all work out in the end as I really want this to happen. Keep your fingers crossed and curse those stupid town parking laws!

Alright, off to the shower for me. Enjoy your Sunday everyone!

Ah, the weekend. So good that its finally here. I'm currently relaxing before heading out to my guitar lesson. Then I come home and get ready to head into NYC with my family to see Wicked on Broadway. It should be fun, although I'm not really looking forward to it. I was talking to Elena via IM yesterday and she was all jealous about it, and I think I really made her jealous when I said I wasn't too into seeing it. I told her the whole reason I asked my mom to get tickets for me was because she got them when we were still going out and I knew how badly Elena wanted to see it. She thought that was sweet, but was ticked that I wasn't into seeing it. Maybe it'll blow me away and I'll be righting about how much Wicked rocked tomorrow!

On the house front, there seems to be a stupid problem. The town we're moving into has some stupid law about parking on streets for no longer than 2 hours. Since we're 4 people with 4 cars, thats not cool, for some reason. Retarded. It better not screw this up or I'm going to be pissed off. Hopefully it'll work out, so I'm remaining optimistic.

I was talking to my mom this morning about Keyser and she seems to think that it'll be best for all involved if Keyser stays with my parents and I think I agree with her, for a number of reasons. Its a lot to ask of three people to put up with a crazy dog and I think he'd be better off staying on his familiar turf with familiar people. Plus my dad won't get so depressed. And I think I'd be better knowing that I wouldn't have to rush home for him or worry about him. He's in capable hands at my parents house and I would visit enough, and maybe take him for the occasional weekend as well. I know I'll miss him, but its probably for the best in the end. We shall see.

Alright, back to relaxing. Have a good Saturday everyone!

The rest of the money my dad gave me cleared last night so I transferred it over to my checking account and killed my AMEX balance. Woo hoo! Now I just have the card I use to buy gas with, and recently my hotel in Montreal and tickets to Weezer and I'm done! This is exciting. I've had a borning day of work during which I spent hours trying to get Movable Type to run on a PC at home and IMing Elena. Fun, right? Well, its almost time to go, so it works out in the end. Going to see Batman hopefully tonight. Have a great weekend everyone!

Enough of the money I deposited the other day from my dad cleared into my account, so I transferred it over to my checking account and made an online payment to kill one credit card. Now I just have to wait for the rest to clear to kill the other one. Then all I'm left with is one more card that only has about $700 on it. Once I get paid next week I should have enough to knock that one off as well. Then, I shall be debt free! Thats the way to be!

Is this week done yet? I want the weekend to get here already. I actually have some sembelence of plans this weekend that I would like to get to, eventually. Its just been a slow and boring week, you know? It was exruciatingly hot all last weekend and into Monday and Tuesday, like in the 90's hot, and now its been in the 60's and cloudy for the past two days. I'm not really complaining, but a happy medium of say, 75 without humidity would be nice. I doubt it'll happen, but one can dream can't they?

The plans for the weekend are as follows. I shall most likely be going to see "Batman Begins" with Jason on Friday night. He's out of town, in Atlanta I believe, on business and he gets home and will be coming from Queens to his parents on Friday, so depending on when he gets there he'll let me know and we'll go check it out. Should be fun as it looks like a good Batman movie, whereas the last two or three, aside from the Tim Burton flick in 1989, sucked.

Saturday morning I have to take Keyser for a bath and a nail trim. He stinks and he has talons. He was swimming in the pool on Sunday and Monday and would claw the hell out of anyone who picked him up, not on purpose or anything. He just keeps kicking and swimming even when you pick him up. He scratched the hell out of Mark's friends back, so much so that it looked like some girl ran her fingernails down his back way too hard in the throes of passion. Hope his girlfriend believes him!

Of course also on Saturday I have my guitar lesson. I almost have the "Better Man" thing down and changing smoothly and with some speed. I'm just having trouble with the STP song as it invloves chords further down the neck of the guitar and my coordination just isn't up to that level yet. I'm going to try my best to work it out until Saturday, but in the meantime I've actually got a song that I want to learn that seems easy enough. I looked up Filter's "Take My Picture" online and it looks easy enough. I just can't figure out how to strum it and where the chord changes go. I'm sure after a listen Reuven could figure it out. I've also had a problem since his partner changed the strings on my guitar with keeping it in tune. The top string falls way out of tune after playing it for just a little while. Not good. So I'll ask about that too.

Saturday night my entire family is getting together and going into the city to see "Wicked" on Broadway. That should be fun. We're eating at Carmine's beforehand, which is this family style Italian restaurant that is supposed to have the best food. We shall see about that. To be honest, I was more psyched to see the show when I was going out with Elena because I knew how badly she wanted to see it. But whatever, I'm sure it'll be a good time out with the family. It'll give me something to talk to Elena about next time I talk to her, although I did tell her about moving out, I just didn't have time to get into details.

I also got some bad news from the dentist. They left a message on my machine that I would need to come back, and the earliest they could squeeze me in was July. Turns out I have two cavities and need two appointments because they're on opposite sides of my mouth, but in the first lower molar on each side. Fun. I've only had one cavity before this in one of my front teeth, so I'm not too concerned about it, just pissed that I have to go twice. Can't they take care of it all in one shot? Makes sense to me. I don't mind the pain if it means only going through it once instead of twice. Not cool. Oh well.

I also made another appointment with the psychologist I saw the other night. I figure one more appointment can't hurt. Its only $20 for a copay. If after one more appointment I can't get across what I want to accomplish or he can't focus on what I want to accomplish instead of suggesting grad school, I'll either find someone else, or just debate stopping entirely. We'll see.

Alright, back to this dragging day. Adios everyone!

I had to go out to Bridgehampton this morning and damn, that is one long drive. Unfortunately I didn't have enough work to fill up more than about 45 minutes of time there, so my boss made me come back. I probably could've gotten away with just going home had I not said that I could come back tomorrow when I left. Stupid me! Oh well. At least I get an extra $50 or so just for my mileage out there. All I really had to do was swap out a PC of the founding partner as his broke. He was appreciative, and its always good to look good in front of a partner, especially when his last name is part of the company name. The drive back was fun though and its good to know I still love my new car, even though it has over 11,000 miles on it already, in only about 6 months. Thankfully I have 25,000 a year in my lease. Going over would be bad.

So its Wednesday and I'm definitely feeling trouble getting over the hump. The sooner the day ends the happier I'll be. I just want to go home and relax and practice some guitar. I've been doing some thinking and despite my difference in opinion in nearly everything we talked about I'm going to make another appointment with the psychologist. Its simple. I want to try to be friends with Elena, I am going to move out of my parents house and into one with 3 women, and I'm not going back to grad school for my MBA. What I want to work on is certain aspects of my behavior, like my proneness to let people take advantage of my good nature, my inability to stand up for myself and be assertive and my shyness in social situations, especially with women. If he can't help me with that, then I'll find someone else. Thats what I want help with, plain and simple. It doesn't seem like I'm asking for much, you know?

I was talking to Seth's girlfriend, Shari, my future housemate yesterday and she's all excited about the hosue thing, as am I. I think its going to be really cool. She said her friend, another one of my future housemates suggested that we all get together for dinner one night soon to get to know each other a little better. I was actually thinking the same thing and said it would be a good idea. It'll be nice, get together, talk, figure some stuff out. The only concerns I have are really about Keyser, to make sure they're all good with a dog in the house, the really bad guitar playing I may subject them to, and the TV and Internet situation. I need, not want, but need, premium cable with HBO and all that, and a broadband Internet connection. No arugment. Need it. I'm sure it won't be a problem. I'll be bringing most of my wireless networking stuff from home, so I'll be able to get that up and running without an issue hopefully.

Still not sure of a move in date, but I'm not sweating anything. It'll give me time to save up my money for the 3 months rent thats due when we move in. Crazy, huh? One months rent, one months rent as a security deposit and then half a months to the rental agent and half a months for something else. I figure once I have all my credit cards paid off, which will be as soon as my dads check clears, I'll put aside one months rent from each paycheck I get from now until I move in. Without credit cards to pay off, I have no other use for money, except to go crazy with of course. But now is the time where I must exercise self control with my cash, and to continue doing so, so this will be a good starting point for my new anti-spending behavior.

Alright, enough babbling out of me. Back to work.

So I had my appointment with my therapist/psychologist yesterday and I'm not sure if I'm going to continue seeing the guy, or even if I'm going to continue trying to find one at all. I didn't leave there feeling too good about any of the recent choices I've made in the past few weeks, from deciding to try to be friends with Elena up to moving out of my parent's house. I went in there saying that I wanted to address certain patterns of behavior, especially dealing with my relationships with women and according to the guy it seems like I'm fine, there is no such thing as doing too much for someone, and that I shouldn't be friends with Elena. I also probably shouldn't move into a house with three women, and I should definitely go back to school and get an MBA. WTF? The guy was nice enough and easy enough to talk to most of the time, but I just didn't leave with a good feeling. Isn't therapy supposed to make you feel better somewhat? And honestly, I was feeling fine before I went. When I finally got home I tried to practice a little guitar and just couldn't focus and nothing sounded right (like it ever really does, but this was beyond my usual badness).

The more I think about it, I'm not sure if I really need therapy. I've done a lot fo soul searching in the past month and I think I know what my issues are and I think I know from where a lot of them stem from. Mostly a lack of confidence, assertiveness and self esteem. All things that I'm trying to work on myself. I don't know. I really just need to think about it some more to see if its something that I really want to pursue.

In related news, Elena called me last night just to see what's up. We had a brief IM conversation yesterday afternoon that got cut off, so she called me last night. We didn't talk for long, but it was nice to talk. Not sure when we're going to get together and hang out, but I'm not in any rush to. I told her about the bad therapist appointment, but not really why it was bad, since it pertained to her. And just as she was about to go I told her about moving out of my parents hosue and she didn't believe me at first, but I told her it was for real and that was about it. She said to call her sometime, but who knows with her schedule. I think it can wait awhile as I have a lot of stuff to get in order in the coming days and weeks.

My dad gave me the check he promised me yesterday, and of course, it was for about a thousand more than I asked for, for which I'm even more grateful. He said it was for an air conditioner and curtains and whatever other things I need. I said thanks, again, even though I'm sure my mom will probably pay for any decorative things that I need. I just know her like that. I'm still really excited about moving out, but why do a lot of people that I talk to seem like its a bad idea? I don't know, but its really starting to get to me. The only way I'll know if its a bad idea or not is if I give it a shot. If you never try then you'll never know, right? I swear that must be a Coldplay lyric because that line seemed so familiar when I just typed it.

OK, I'm going to stop babbling and get to work. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

So I called my dad up at work earlier, asking him if it would be a good idea to start the process of cashing out my mutual fund to help kill my credit cards. He thought I had enough in my savings account to handle most and that I wasn't going to touch the mutual fund. I said no, the savings account covers 1/3 and the mutual fund covers another 1/3. He asked how much I would need if I didn't touch my mutual fund and I told him, and he said he'd just write me a check for all of it so I don't have to touch my mutual fund. I was floored. Although I'm kind of thinking he's going to great lengths to help me out here, maybe he just wants me out of the house, at any price! Just kidding. I know thats not the case, but I'm still eternally grateful. My older brother is going to be jealous though as he's been banking on help from my dad to get rid of his car, an Audi A4, the car I wanted, early (its a lease and he's way over his mileage) so he can get a GTO. Yes, my brother is retarded.

So, now will I not only be debt free, but two of the credit cards I've had the longest have just upped my credit limit. One by about $3000, the other nearly tripled, to $12,000. Giving me that much spending room is a bad idea. But I know running up a balance after just killing one is a bad, bad idea. So I shall show restraint. OK, back to work!

So, after obsessing about little else all weekend, talking it over extensively with my friends and my dad, I have decided I'm going to move out of my parents house, and into another house with three women. Its funny, because when I tell that part to people they're either like, that's cool, or, you're crazy. It should be interesting to say the least sharing a house with only one bathroom with three women. Thankfully they all work for schools, so they have to be at work by like 7:30 in the morning, so they'll most likely be gone before I even need to hop in the bathroom in the morning.

I had a nice talk with my dad about things yesterday as we were sweeping the deck, and sweating to death. (Beautiful day yesterday, hot as hell, but sunny. I think I even got some color to my pasty white complexion.) I said the only thing holding me back is the debt and Keyser. I said I have enough saved to kill 2/3 of my debt, and I was curious if I could work something out with him to borrow the rest and pay him back over time. He said we'd work something out. Then I said I want to take Keyser with me, but if it didn't work out with him and the roommates, would my parents take care of him. He said of course. So that was good. I know my parents are really going to miss Keyser, as he kind of just took control of the house. But I think they'll get a kick out of dog sitting occasionally, like grandparents.

When I asked him later in the day for confirmation of what we would work out before I told Shari that I was definitely in, he said he'd give me the money. I said I'd pay him back, he said he'd give it to me. I insisted that I'd pay him back, but he said he'd just give it to me, and explained it was for estate planning purposes. I wondered what the hell it meant, but I figured out that it basically boils down to less of an inheritance. Thats just my dad's sense of humor. So I'm grateful that my dad will give me the money. I said that it was a lot of cash to me, but to him, probably not so much. Hell, I once had to deposit a check for him for my mom's new car a few years ago. He said he was just moving "some" money between accounts. "Some" money was like $40,000. I wish I could be at the station in my life where that amount of dough is just "some" money.

So I'm psyched, I'll be living on my own, with roommates of course, and be debt free. Now the key is just to remain debt free, but I think I can definitely curb my spending habits and budget myself.

I'm not sure when we'd move in as there are already people living there. Shari said she wants to move in by August, since school starts in September and that wouldn't be fun to move right before the school year starts. It doesn't matter to me, and I'd prefer September as it would enable me to save a little more money, but whatever. I'll probably take a few days or a week off work to move in anyway. I have the time off, and I've only set aside 2 vacation days for Montreal anyway.

So I'm really psyched (have I said that enough?) to embark on this new chapter in my life. I know its a change that needed to be made. I was honestly getting very bored with the routine my life was following, even while I was dating Elena, and I'm really looking forward to mixing it up a little, like I have with the guitar lessons. Every little step counts, I think. So this will be new and exciting and a change for the better. Here's to hoping it all works out.

In other news I have my first appointment with a psychologist after work today. I'm a little nervous, but I'm sure I'll be fine and I'm sure that it will go well.

So back to work! Have a great Monday everyone!

I went out for some Mexican with Seth and Brett last night and afterwards we winded up at, where else, John Harvards for a few beers. We had a really good time and it was good to get together, just the three of us and hang out, as it was something we haven't done in awhile. Its been two months since we've all hung out together, but probably longer since it was just the three of us.

After talking it over with Seth, he said he has absolutely no problem with me moving into the same house as his girlfriend. He admits it sounds a little wierd, but he thinks I should go for it. He said that it'd be really good for me and that the opportunity is just too good to pass up, and I tend to agree with him. I do want to move out of my parents house, but I don't want to live by myself (mostly because I couldn't afford it), and I also don't want to live with strangers. This is a nice place, with what seems like three cool people (I can only vouch for Seth's girlfriend right now, but I'm sure the other two are nice), it'll be a shorter commute to work, so less gas will be spent. Now maybe I can start getting to work early again and start making some more OT so I can have extra cash every month. All in all it seems like too good an opportunity to pass up.

I think I'm going to talk with my dad this afternoon about the money aspect. He was asking me yesterday just how much credit card debt I had and I reluctantly told him. I was afraid he'd yell at me, but he said he's been there too. I have enough money in my savings and mutual fund accounts to kill about 2/3 of my credit card debt, and I think I may ask my dad to borrow that other 1/3. I think he'd go for it, he's done it before, like when I bought my laptop so I wouldn't have to pay the high interest on a credit card. And honestly, that amount of money isn't too much to him, whereas it is to me. I could pay him off slowly over time, interest free. Lets hope he goes for it. Then, I could move in debt free and that would be an excellent thing so that I could actually put aside money while paying rent.

I shall talk with my Dad and see how it goes. In the meantime I have no plans for today except to relax and learn how to do the chord changes in the chorus to "Better Man" much quicker than I have been! Enjoy your Sunday everyone!

So I checked out the house for rent yesterday and its really nice. Its an old house, but its really nice in that antique kind of way and its plenty big for four people to live there. Now its just a question if the time is right for me to do this. I think if I kill most, if not all of my remaining credit card debt by the time I would move in I'll be OK, and as long as I can keep my spending under control once I am there. After the money its just a question of the intagibles. Like doing my own laundry, looking after Keyser mostly by myself, cooking and cleaning for myself. Those kinds of things. Not sure if I'm ready for it or if its just a case of me being too comfortable at home.

My mom wasn't too big on the idea of me moving and thought that it was bizarre, her word, that I would move into a place with my best friends girlfriend. I think she just has a problem with letting me go. I told them when I finally got home from looking at the place that I can't live at home forever, like my older brother. I'm almost 27, at some point I have to be independent, you know? I'm going to keep thinking about it, and I honestly don't know which way I'm leaning right now. We shall see as time goes by. Seth's girlfriend and two of her friends are definitely going to take the place, so its just a matter of a fourth, and they have another friend interested so I'm sure they'll find the fourth they need to get the rent to $625 a month.

Like I said, I'm going to have to think about it, and obviously if Seth isn't cool with the idea of me living with his girlfriend I wouldn't do it. So stay tuned for a decision.

In other news I had my second guitar lesson today. He said the stuff I practiced last week was good, so we moved onto some new things. Basically, I need to get used to changing chords a lot quicker and not stop strumming with the other hand while I change chords. He kept saying, "Just keep playing," and I know that I'll have to beat that into my head as well. He gave me a simple (I say that now, but I can't do it smoothly to save my life right now) three chord progression to play, that just happens to be the chords played during the chorus of Pearl Jam's "Better Man," so that'll be cool to learn. I also have some new strumming patterns to learn.

Reuven explained that most songs are broken up by either playing the top few strings or the bottom few strings while fingering a certain chord. Most songs are not just strumming chords, so I have some exercises to practice playing either the top half or bottom half and changing it up. Once done, that should comprise the opening of Stone Temple Pilot's "Interstate Love Song," which is also cool as I'm a fan of STP, hence going to see Velvet Revolver. I like that I can sort of hear a song I like while I practice as it beats the hell out of playing something like "Kumbaya." Although, technically, it can't hurt to learn that one and really kill them at the campfire singalongs. So practice I must. The good news is that with the amount that I'm practicing the pain in my fingertips should cease in about two weeks. That's a comforting thought, as pain in the fingertips isn't good, especially when you type all day.

Plans for tonight consist of getting together with Seth and Brett. Hopefully Brett can manage to be somewhat on time, or, to put it nicely, it'd be nice if Brett was extremely late as he usually is. How the kid got through the Police Academy is beyond me when he can't even manage to show up to your house even close to when you asked him to. But anyway. Not sure what we're doing, but I'm sure we'll have a good time as it has been about two months since we've all hung out together.

Now its time for some rest and relaxation. Have a good rest of the weekend everyone!

Damn. I think this is the most amount of concerts I've packed into one Summer Season in a long while. We've already had Velvet Revolver and U2. We've got The Black Crowes and Tom Petty in like a week and a half. The day after labor day is Coldplay, followed by Pearl Jam in Montreal a week later (I finally got around to finding a hotel to stay at. Anything close to the concert, close to the main area of town and cheap, and I have three candidated to run by Seth).

This morning I added Weezer to that roster. They're playing in the middle of July at the sports arena across the street from my office. I've always wanted to see them live, and now I can. Tickets were nice and cheap too, like $30 before you tack on all those Ticketmaster service charges. Another show I can't wait for.

I'm so happy its Friday. This has been the week from hell, as lawyers don't seem to know any better when it comes to opening up e-mails containing viruses. So I've spent a good portion of my week cleaning up that mess, on a daily basis. Tomorrow night I'm hanging out locally with Seth and Brett. We haven't all hung out together in like 2 months, so it'll be nice to go out, get some dinner and have a few drinks.

I was talking online before to Seth's girlfriend, Shari. She's moving out of her apartment and into one closer to where she works (she's a school psychologist at a middle school, with her PhD and everything). The place she's looking at is really nice from what she describes, and with three other roommates it would be like $625 a month for rent. I think I could swing that, but I really need to take a good hard look at the numbers to see if its something thats really viable. I really want to kill off a good chunk of my credit card debt by the end of the year, if not the summer, and I'm almost there if I cash in my savings and mutual fund. We shall see. She said she's going to look at the place tonight, so maybe I will as well after work. Not sure. Have to think about it.

There's a lot to think about. Not just if I can afford it. She said they take pets and it'd be a house to rent, not an apartment, so thats good for Keyser. I just don't know how he'd do in a roommate environment. He's kind of taken over my house and my family tolerates him, I don't know how other people would react. I wouldn't want to move out without him, although I'm sure my parents would watch him for me, I'd miss the crazy bastard. I guess I can at least look at the place, can't hurt, right?

Thats enough of out me for today. Getting ready to head out and grab some lunch. Have a good Friday everyone!

I was sitting at work before, doing something or other, and I got an IM from Elena. She just wanted to see how work was doing, how I was doing and what was up with me. We had ourselves a nice little conversation, which was oddly not so much about her. I told her I found a new therapist to go to and told her all about my guitar lessons. She told me about her show and what else she has lined up at the moment besides more auditions. I told her that I thought about it and that I'd really like us to be friends, and she said that was cool too. After this week thing should be calmer for her and we may go catch a movie or something to see if this friendship thing can really work.

In the meantime, its business as usual by me. Nothing really doing on the dating front, but thats OK. I feel like before I was in a rush to get something going with someone, but I don't feel like that anymore. Right now I need to focus on me and my needs and what makes me happy. Once I do that, and get a better understanding of me, then I can worry about adding another person to the mix. I think that was another problem in my relationship with Elena. I had no identity outside the relationship, which isn't very healthy. What that means exactly, I don't know, but I'll try and figure it out. My thought process is this, if I meet someone and we hit it off, cool, if I don't meet anyone right now, no big deal as I'm having fun doing my own thing. I'm telling you, I can't wait to get home at night and pick up my guitar and practice until my fingers can't take it anymore. And, I almost have the first 8 chords of Elderly Woman down pat. I know them all, what order to play them in, its just a matter of changing somewhat faster and cleaner and strumming correctly. But I'm getting there, and its fun. Thats all that counts.

Damn, this day has flown by, and I thought it would drag, considering I got here at like 7:30. I was up early and thought, what the hell, why not leave for work early and try to beat the traffic (which I did). Its now 4 and I'm leaving at 5. It should be easy enough to kill an hour doing something. Well, have a pleasant night everyone!

I just closed a server rack door on my finger, well, not on my finger or it would be broken. I went to lock it and the little swivel handle pinched the skin under my right index finger like you wouldn't believe. Instant blood blister. Nice right? So glad I have such interesting things to post about in my life. More details at 11!

I realize that my daily exploits in my new hobby doesn't make for real interesting ready, but I can't help it, I'm excited about it, so I shall write about it. And I've made it my goal to try to make a post everydat for the entire month of June. Why? I don't know. I've never done it before and I feel like it. And its my blog, and I can do what I want to! Ha!

OK, with all the childishness aside, the guitar practice is coming along. I have the scale down pat and I'd say I can do it 90% of the time without messing up. I have the basics of the beginning of Pearl Jam's "Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town" down as well, its just the correct strumming pattern, clean and quick chord changes and minor bugs to work out.

The one major thing that is really frustrating me is that being the big guy that I am, my hands and fingers are big. So much so that its really hard to fret a string and get my fingertip out of the way enough so that it doesn't touch the nearby string. If its touching in the slightest bit, the string can't ring freely and it sounds like crap. I'm working on it, and the longer I work on it the stronger my hands will be and the more I push on the strings the more I'll build up the needed calouses on my finger tips.

The hand strength is really an issue though. I broke my ring finger on my left hand in 6th grade and a bone in my hand, around the knuckles between my middle and ring finger in the 10th grade, and I've had some strength loss ever since. And since I broke a bone in a finger on my other hand in 10th grade as well, actually, 4 weeks prior to breaking the bone in the other hand (good, right?) I've never had the best grip. I had problems lifting a heavy text book with one hand, thats how bad it can be. So I guess this is all therapeutic. Like I said, I'm getting there, slowly but surely. No one becomes a virtuoso overnight, you know?

In other news, there isn't any other news really. Just work, which is how it usually is. Until tomorrow people!

My new hobby and my profession definitely do not mesh well. If you have to type for most of your day, having the fingertips on one hand extremely sensitive isn't good, but I really don't care. I'm enjoying it so far, and hope to continue to. In fact, I can't wait to get home and practice some more. I just did the scale most of the time yesterday, mostly because once I had it down pretty well, my fingers hurt too much to fret the strings to play the chords for the Pearl Jam song I'm learning. Today's plan is maybe 10-15 minutes or less of the scale, and 30 minutes or so of the song, if my fingers can handle it. In due time they'll get calloused enough to where it doesn't hurt so much, if at all.

And, in due time I'll be good enough to justify the purchase of an electric guitar, something I've been dreaming about since before I was 10. I want a Gibson Les Paul, along with a Fender Stratocaster its like the definitive rock guitar. And damn they're pricey. They usually run about $2000 depending on the exact model. I figure once I'm good enough it'll be worth it. In the meantime I'll practice on my $300 Dean acoustic.

In other news, I really don't know where my head is at. No sooner am I telling myself that I want to take a break from women then I realize that my online dating subscriptions are running out and I better use them before they expire because I'm not in the mood to renew right now. So I have like two weeks left on Match.com so I made some contacts, and two or three girls have gotten back to me, so I'll start by talking and see what happens. One of these days I'll make up my mind and stick to it.

In other other news, I hate computers, especially ones that run Windows (my mac, and any mac, still rocks), and especially ones that get spyware and viruses, as thats what I've spent my entire day working on. It sucks, trust me.

Alright, back to it. Hope everyone is having a better Monday than I am.

More like my fingertips, on my left hand. Its from pushing down the strings on the neck of a guitar, or to use the technical term, fretting the strings. My fingers aren't used to having a thin string pushing against it. In time, my fingers will get used to it and build up callouses to protect my finger tips. Regardless of the pain that is present when I type (and it sucks considering just how much typing I do everyday for work and whatnot) I had a blast at my guitar lesson. I suck like you wouldn't believe, but it was only my first lesson. The guy asked me what type of music I liked to get a gauge for what I want to learn to play, and I listed Pearl Jam, Dashboard Confessional, Jeff Buckley, John Mayer, 311, Nine Inch Nails, U2 and Coldplay as the ones I could list off the top of my head.

To start with my teacher had me go through a simple chord progression, just to see what I knew, but I was having trouble. So he moved on to a simple scale, just playing 16 notes getting progressively higher. I didn't do that too well either, so we moved onto any chords I knew, and I played like two others that I knew, and tried a third that I knew but could never really make sound right. Its the opening notes to Pearl Jam's "Nothingman".

At that, my teacher, I think Reuven is his name, jotted down some chords in tab notation for me to play through, and although I couldn't quite pick it up, I have to practice that as well. He demonstrated a few times, and it turns out to be the opening and basic melody of another Pearl Jam song, "Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town." So I have to practice that as well. He said after a day or two I should have it almost down and I'm looking forward to it.

I practiced for about 30-40 minutes today after I got back from the city, but mostly on the scale, but I think I have it almost down, which is really cool. I left there feeling really good for some reason, like I'm embarking on something new and cool and I definitely want to stick with it, because although my fingers do hurt like hell, its still fun. I now have a standing 1:30 lesson every Saturday, for a half hour, which I will be looking forward to, along with practicing and getting decent enough to play a little Pearl Jam. Thats cool.

The city was fun last night. We didn't really do much, just went to Little Italy for some Italian food. There was a street fair going on, so that was cool. After that we grabbed some ice cream and headed back to Seth's so we could steal each other music and watch some Scrubs. Took an noon train home and have been relaxing ever since. I'm not looking forward to a full week of work though, but it should be OK.

After much thought I will try to be Elena's friend, but I will not be checking out her show. It just seems like overkill, you know? Maybe next time she's in something I'll check it out, but for now I'm going to take it slow on that front and let it stew for awhile before I talk to her again. But I really do want to try to make a friendship works, so only time will tell if thats possible.

Have a good rest of the weekend everyone!

Woo hoo! The 2005 Summer Concert Series has a new date. Coldplay, Tuesday, September 6th at Madison Square Garden. I'm a huge fan of Coldplay but have yet to see them live. Been meaning too though, along with the Foo Fighters (one of these days). I'm psyched about the tickets. It adds to the already impressive lineup of shows I've been to or will be going to this summer. So far I've seen Velvet Revolver and U2. Up next is The Black Crowes and Tom Petty at Jones Beach, Coldplay at the Garden, and to end it all, Pearl Jam in Montreal. I can't wait!

Alright, I'm off to my first guitar lesson in a few minutes, then onto the city. Adios.

Do you think its possible to be friends with an ex? I've been asking myself this question all day, can I just be Elena's friend? She said she'd like to be, and she even said that I don't have many, if any, really, female friends. I know that I still care for her and would want to know what's going on in her life, and maybe occasionally hang out with her. I'm just afraid I would be her friend simply on the chance of parlaying it into something more than friendship. But I have to admit, it would be nice to have a friend that knows me so well. It would be weird at first, but I think that could fade over time. I'm friendly enough with my first ex, but she lives out of state so I never have to see her, but its still nice to chat every so often. I'll leave you with that question to ponder. Get back to me when you can.

In other news, after a very fun filled day, I've decided to really make some strides in the self improvement arena. Elena said on the phone that she was impressed by my assertiveness in saying all that I said to her so I'm going to try to continue that assertiveness into every day life and activity. I've already made an appointment with a psychologist. Hopefully this guy will provide me the therapy I need, whereas the psychiatrist, oddly enough, could only offer me drugs. Sad, huh? My first appointment is after work, a week from Monday. June 13.

I've also made an appointment for my first guitar lesson. As I've previously stated, when I graduated college, oh, 4 years ago (damn, has it been THAT long ago?) I bought an acoustic guitar with the notion in my head that I would teach myself how to play, and maybe find a teacher. Lets say neither happened. I blame Keyser. Soon after I really got into learning and almost got a teacher, I got Keyser and taking care of him became a priority. Now he's pretty self-sufficient, or as much as a dog can be, and he doesn't need constant supervision. Plus, he hates the guitar and goes running from it any time I take it out. So it'll make a nice anti-Keyser deterrent. I have my first lesson, for $20 a half hour tomorrow afternoon.

After that I am hopping on a train into the city to hang out with Seth, Shari and her cousin. This will probably include getting drunk and even more conversation about the Elena situation. Regardless, it should be fun. I may even head into the city next weekend as well to check out Elena's show. It all depends how I feel about the friends thing. She said she'd really like me to come check it out as it is really good. I said I've seen her in it before, but she said its better this time around. We'll see. In the back of my mind I'm thinking, city this weekend, city next weekend, city the weekend after that as my entire family is going to see Wicked on Broadway, and I think city the weekend after that as Seth is planning on having a party. So thats like spending every weekend in June in NYC. I'm not complaining, just making a point. When I went into the city in March to see Seth's new place, it was the first time I was in NYC since almost a year earlier (Sometime in April we saw Damien Rice in NYC). I know I do need to get out more, so looks like I'll be doing that.

So, ponder away on my posed question and have a great weekend everyone! I'll be trying to also.

Well, that was two things that didn't go quite as I expected them too. Just got back from my therapist appointment and I think I overshot it a little making an appointment with a psychiatrist instead of a psychologist, because basically she said that all she could do for me would be to prescribe drugs, and I don't want that. So now I have to find a psychologist.

And, while I was at the doctor I got a message from Elena to call her back. I did, and she basically said that she thought that all I said was sweet, took a lot of guts and showed that I'm maturing and whatnot, but the gist was that she's not looking for a relationship at the moment. She said that her life was so busy right now that she didn't want to put ourselves through that again. I guess I have no choice but to respect her decision. She said to call her whenever I want to talk and I told her she can call me too, and we left it at that. At least now I know and I can try to move on.

I think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile and just focus on self improvement at the moment. Time for me to be selfish with myself for a change.

Now I have errands to run for my dad. Fun day, right?

I just upgraded it to the most recent version of Movable Type, and then, when I went to login to make sure all was good, it wouldn't let me in. A quick post in the support forums and I was pointed to the fix. Thankfully it worked and I'm back up and running. Had to reinstall my plugins though, which was weird. Thankfully I only use like 3, all for stopping SPAM comments and they were easy to find. So we're back up now. Whew... I hate breaking things.

So, haven't heard from Elena yet and I'm guessing it may take her awhile to get back to me as I'm sure it was a lot to digest all at once. I'm trying to be as patient as possible and not slip back into old patterns of smothering behavior, like calling her first. I was thinking about calling her tomorrow afternoon as I know her show is debuting tomorrow night and telling her to break a leg. The more I think about it though, its probably not a good idea. The ball is in her court now. I've said my peace and its up to her. Calling her would be like my old behavior, which didn't work for either of us. What do you think? Call and wish good luck (which I technically already did when we said goodbye Tuesday night, I said, "Good luck with the show... maybe I'll come and check it out)... or don't call? Thoughts are welcome.

Speaking of luck, wish me some at the therapists tomorrow. I'm scared out of my mind about it, but I know its a huge thing that'll help in the long run. At least I hope so. Anyway, I'm off to try to sleep. Nite all.

You know, only in NYC could something like this happen. Only in a city of say, about 8 million people would you bump into the one person you've been both dying to talk to and avoiding like hell for three months on a train home. Only in NYC. This is a long story, so bear with me as I tell it.

It started out like any other day. I worked a mostly full day of work. I left about an hour early to catch a train into the city to meet up with Seth as we were going to a Chuck Palahniuk reading and book signing. These things can get crazy packed with the most interesting people you can imagine (The guy did write Fight Club, so you have to expect that) so we got there as early as possible to try to get a seat, but to no avail. All the seats were taken. We then proceeded to get on a line that would allow us, after the reading, to have a greater chance of getting our stuff signed. We waited on that line all through the reading, which lasted about an hour. He read tis sick piece from his new book about a kid that falls into a hot spring and gets cooked alive. Very gross. He did a little Q&A afterwards and proceeded to start signing stuff.

Seth and I moved up the line, even though waiting wasn't so bad. We were in the music biography section so we were having fun perusing the titles while we waited. Once we were seated there were about 5 or so rows of people ahead of us to get books signed. The reading started at 7, ended at 8, we were seated and waiting by 9 and got out of there by 10. Well worth it though as now I have all except two books I own by him not signed, and yes, I own every book he's written. While we were sitting and waiting I started to talk to Seth about everything thats been going on in my head. I told him about the therapist appointment and my desire to get in touch with Elena to try to start something again. He was cautious as he was just looking out for my best interest, but the more I talked about it and explained my thinking he could see my feelings were genuine and honest, so I had his support. Good to know.

After we got our books signed we headed over to a microbrewery in Union Square called the Heartland Brewery to eat because we were starving. A nice meal and a beer or two later and we were on our way back to Penn Station. I had a train to catch and he had to stop off at his office, which is right above Penn Station to get a bag of stuff he had left there. We said goodbye, he said good luck with all the therapist and Elena stuff and I headed down to Penn to catch my train. I was going to take an 11:16 train, but when I got there at 11:00 I saw that there was an 11:04 that would take me where I needed to go. I headed down the platform just as the train was arriving. I got on, took my seat and we took off soon thereafter.

I was just sitting there, tuning out the world with my iPod going and reading my newly signed Chuck Palahniuk novel without a care in the world. All of a sudden I hear behind me, "Boo!" I kind of new right then and there that it was Elena, and I turned around and there she was. "Holy shit," was all I could say at first. I was just so shocked, I think I started shaking. I tried my best to keep myself together and I slowly started to put my stuff away in my bag as we started talking. She asked what I was doing there, I showed her the signed book and explained. I asked why she was there and she said she's in a show, and was coming home from rehearsals. She handed me a flier for the show, and it turns out to be one she did for school while in London. It really turns out to be the one I had to sit through after I read her diary and learned the brutal truth about my girlfriend, but thats besides the point.

So we start the usual catch up idle chit chat. Talking about our families and siblings and whatnot. After a minute or two of this I tell her that its really crazy to run into her like that and that I was actually going to try to get in touch with her in the next few days anyway. She asked why and after we moved to some empty seats where we could sit across from each other I basically told her everything that I had posted here earlier and everything I had talked to Seth about earlier in the night (that made for a good dress rehearsal). She seemed really surprised by some of the stuff that was coming out of my mouth, but I think in a good way. I think she could see that I had matured a lot and was taking responsibility for my own actions. I told her about my upcoming appointment with the therapist and how I want to understand my behavior better so I don't make the same mistakes again.

Then I got to the main issue. I told her I wanted a second chance at a fresh start with her. I said that I didn't want to go back to the way things were as we were both unhappy, but that I wanted a new beginning from square one. She said that being with me really engaged one part of her personality but that the other side was left stagnant. She said she's been going on tons of auditions, going out in the city a lot and shopping among other things. Things she didn't do with me. I said I know I can be a little boring sometimes but that I'm working to change that. I mentioned some of the stuff I've done recently and some of my future plans, like Montreal for Pearl Jam and that I'm about to sign up for guitar lessons too (I bought a guitar when I graduated from college and never learned how to play. I want to now). I said I want to change the person I am, hence the therapy, and she said a person shouldn't have to change, but then I said that I wanted to, and she admitted she tried to change me as well.

My station was coming up, so I offered to drive her to her car at her station close to her house. On the ride there we talked more about small stuff and more about what went wrong and what's different now. I think it went really well. At the end she said she enjoyed being single again, but that sometimes she did get lonely, I concurred. I said at this point I'd be happy just to have her back in my life again. A phone call a day, see her on weekends, stuff like that, and she did admit she missed some of that too. We got to her car, hugged goodbye and she said she'd call me soon after she had time to think things over. Hopefully that won't take too long as the waiting isn't the easiest part.

Now, I realize from all of this that there is no way in hell that I could tell the whole story, but from what I do have, what do you think? You think we'll get back together? I have a strong feeling, and my magic eight ball dashboard widget (thank you Mac OS X, or Tiger) says yes, and I'm inclined to agree with the magic eight ball. I'll keep you posted as things continue to develop. In the meantime I'm going into the city on Saturday night to hang out with Seth, and depending on if Elena gets back to me and what her response it we, meaning Seth, Shari, her cousin and myself, may go to see Elena's show as its only this weekend and next weekend (she just has a role in the ensemble). If I don't hear from her or its not good, I'll just go and get good and drunk. Only time will tell.

Final thoughts. Elena's always been a big fan of saying if things are meant to happen they will. Is that some way of saying that we were meant to see each other last night so we can get back together? I know its freaky that it happened and some can say its fate, but here's one further. I was going to call her on Friday, after my therapist appointment. I run into her on a Tuesday and am basically forced to commit my plan earlier than expected. Way back when, our first date was supposed to be on a Friday and I was glad I had the whole week to psych myself up for it. Then, she called me on Tuesday night and asked if I wanted to get together right then and there, and again I was forced to deal with the situation earlier than I planned. Odd coincidence? Hmmmmm.

Care to know just how small this world can be sometimes? Here's an example. Guess who scared the crap out of me tonight by being on my train home from the city tonight? Three guesses and the first two don't count. If you guessed Elena, you'd have guessed right. I'll just say it was really interesting and leave it at that. Details to follow. Right now, I need to go to bed if I can. Night all.