OK, I have to admit it. I think I'm addicted to playing live now. That was, by far and away, one of the best experiences I've ever had, doing anything! I was never good with getting up in front of people and talking, acting, making a presentation or anything like that, so I was nervous. I got to the place with Randy and a friend at about 8-ish and we ate some dinner while some guy was playing bad acoustic music. Once dinner was done the acoustic guy was done so I went and checked to see if the band was there, and they were, so I started getting my stuff out of my car and setting up. I was still nervous at this point, but excited and looking forward to it. Once I was all setup I went and hung out with the people that I had dinner with.

Before the first set got underway I went outside for some fresh air and called Brett and Seth respectively to see where they were, ironically enough, they were all pulling up. So we all went inside, got some drinks and watched the first set. As the set went on the nervousness and excitement faded and was replaced by a feeling of sheer terror, with the look to match. The first set ended and I knew I'd be going on after two or three songs in the second set. I think I had one more beer to settle my nerves, tried to talk to my friends and whatnot and they all reassured me that I'd be fine. Got some last minutes words of wisdom from my teacher and the second set started up.

I swear, I thought I was going to vomit I was so scared. They played two songs and I made my way to the side of the stage to get ready. Before starting their third tune my teacher told me to grab my guitar, tune up and get ready. Once they were done the singer introduced me and I took my spot on stage. I could barely look out in the crowd, but managed to, and after a deep breath or two, hit the chords for The Clash tune "Should I Stay Or Should I Go." Once I got into it I started feeling better, and just concentrated on getting it right. I was late on a few chord changes and had to look offstage to my teacher who was playing out of view as backup. At one point in the tune he pushed me a little further to the front of the stage, which was cool. I managed to not screw that tune up too much, so it was a good start!

Next up, was Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle." I started out the intro a bit fast and thought my teacher was trying to tell me so, but it turns out he was trying to tell something to the bassist. It was going good on that tune. The lead singer was getting a little too close to me for comfort, but whatever. Lead singers are just like that, I guess. Midway through the tune I almost dropped my pick, but managed to hold onto it, albeit playing it sideways for a few seconds before I could correct it. After the solo, handled by my teacher, I got a little ahead of myself on the chord progression, but my teacher corrected me and I recovered just fine.

Third tune was Green Day's "American Idiot" which I ripped into with the opening riff. That one was going just fine until it came time for the solo. I've played it just fine countless times by myself, but when playing along I just haven't been able to get it, and I really messed it up this time, but I kept on playing and tried to stick with it, I don't think anyone could tell, aside from the look on my face and shaking my head, but I kept going. I didn't freeze up or anything, which was good. After the solo as I was just strumming along, I actually did drop my pick, and had to reach into my pocket to grab a new one, which I managed to do before I had to start really playing again. But I finished it up strongly, so that was good.

Last up, Weezer's "Hash Pipe." The riff to that one has always been tough on me, but I think I handled it just fine. I was really getting into too at that point. Going strong on the choruses and strumming away like a rock star! I fumbled a bit in the solo as well, but recovered as well and didn't mess up too bad I don't think. Once the solo was done I think I got a little too excited with hitting the chords in the chorus because I dropped my pick again and had to strum with my finger nail. Grabbed another pick at a stopping point and closed out the song.

All in all, I had one hell of a time and it was a fantastic experience. Many thanks to my teacher for giving me the chance, which I'm taking is something that he doesn't offer to just any student. Now I need to get my own band together! My roommate Rob plays guitar and bass. Seth is taking guitar lessons. Now we just need a drummer!

Video is available here

Just click the Brickhouse Brewery Link to download the four movies. Note on them though. My brother's camera could only do it in 30 second clips. So there's a gap in each tune as the camera stopped and started. Plus I think he was standing a little too close to the PA speaker, as it was kind of muffled sometimes as the camera's mic was overpowered. And you can see just how the lead singer was acting! Enjoy! I know I did.

Well, its here, after silently dreading it, since oh, about January, I finally have my sort of gig tonight. I'm definitely excited, a little scared and nervous, but anxious to get up there and hopefully rock the hell out of the 4 songs I'm playing. American Idiot by Green Day, The Middle by Jimmy Eat World, Hash Pipe by Weezer and Should I Stay Or Should I Go by The Clash. I know them all like the back of my hand, so I'm not worried about that. Just about getting up there and freezing, but hopefully that won't happen. I should have a decent crowd of people showing up to support me and check it out, so thats a good thing. And my teacher and his band seem to have faith in me. Lets hope its justified.

Alright, gotta go rest up, shower, shave, get myself in rock star mode and all that stuff for tonight. I'll be providing details, pics and hopefully video (if my older brother doesn't screw it up) sometime tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Not good. All I get when I try to do anything with the thing is the sound of a hard drive clicking. Nice! Thankfully its still covered under the extended warranty until about July, I think. I plan on going down to the Apple Store tomorrow to hopefully either get it fixed, or maybe Apple will be kind enough to give me a new one! We shall see. I have the day off tomorrow to go get my car serviced and generally relax and squeeze in some last minute practicing.

I am so very excited about tomorrow night. Nervous, yes, but I think excited more, which is good. I ran through everything a few times last night and felt good about it. Nothing will ever be perfect, and I think thats half the fun of live music, you never know whats going to happen. So, I'm psyched. I was trying last night to work on not being so rigid when I stand and play. There's a definitely balance you need to strike between sounding good, and looking good while you're doing it. I'm playing mostly pop-punk type songs, so I'm thinking big arm movements while strumming chords. The stage isn't too big, so I won't be moving around too much. I just don't want to be like that little kid in School Of Rock, just standing there playing. You need the power stance and the crazy look in your eye! Or, I can be like Mike McCready of Pearl Jam on SNL a few weeks ago and do the robot while not playing. Doubtful there!

I hope I get a good bunch of people I know down there. I invited all my roommates, anyone they know, co-workers, friends of my brothers. Anyone basically. The more the merrier. I've also invited a girl I've had my eye on. She said she's hanging out with a friend in the area that night, so if they're looking for something to do thats a little different, this gig is it. Besides, holding and playing a guitar instantly makes me about 67% cooler. Rocking? That'd be astronimcal! Anyway, in case I don't post tomorrow, wish me luck, tell me to break a leg, whatever. I plan on rocking the fuck out of my simple 4 tunes. Look for pics and video clips to go up somewhere soon! Peace!

I just got back from rehearsing with my guitar teachers band. They rented some rehearsal space 15 minutes from my house so I dropped by during the last half hour to practice my tunes. Ran through all three of them, The Clash, Green Day and Weezer, and added Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle" to the list, since that was the only one on the setlist that I knew. I had a really good time, I must say. It was nice to hear all of them say that I was good and would do fine and could hold my own. I'd feel better if I didn't mess up the solo to American Idiot every single time I try to keep with the music. I can do it just fine on my own with no backing sounds, just not with them. I'll get it. I better! And if I mess up, it happens! Now I just need to figure out the logistics of everyone coming and getting there. Meet up at my house or my parents first? Or just have everyone go there? Decisions. I also need the ringing in my ears to stop. Damn was it loud playing with a full band! I'm sure it'll go away in the next few days, only to return after Friday. Oh well, such is the price to pay. Not like I'm going to do it all the time and permanently damage my ears. It was also nice to hear that they band members would let me play in the second set. First sets sucks, so I've been told, and by the third everyone will be drunk, so the second set is the time to shine, and they're throwing me in there. I just hope I don't fuck it up!

Alright, time for bed. If I can sleep with the constant ringing!

So much for a slow burn. It fizzled out, big time. I kind of had the feeling I would. I had been hanging out with her for over a month, and just wasn't feeling anything. She came to my house Saturday for a BBQ and it just didn't go well at all. I really didn't have anything to say to her, and kind of didn't really talk to her. She left way early, and I don't blame her. I probably should have told her not to come at all, but didn't have the guts. So I got the "what was up with last night?" e-mail from her yesterday and responded with the, I'm sorry I was an ass, but I'm just not feeling it, and good luck. So thats done with. I just don't think my heart was in that one fully. I have had my sights on someone else, and am feeling a big time crush on them, so I think I went into it half assed, maybe. Whatever it was, it wasn't meant to be and I wasn't going to try to force it. So thats over and done with and moving on.

To Friday! My big day. I must say, I am psyched for it. I brought my amp and some pedals with me to my lesson and we found the optimum tone. And its mostly in my amp. I only need to use one pedal to add a little more, I want to say bite, to my sound when I need it, like for a solo. I should be rehearsing with the band too, sometime tomorrow, so that'll be exciting. I really can't wait. I'm hoping to have a ton of people coming to check it out too. Hopefully I won't blow it in a bar full of people. I ran through the tunes by myself quickly tonight, and felt good about them. Granted I was sitting on my bed when I did it, instead of standing up in front of a crowd, but hopefully the beer will help me loosen up. I took Friday off, and hopefully the day will pass by at a decent pace.

Alright, enough babbling. Its been a long day and an even longer weekend. I'll try to get to it in more detail at a later date. Tons of fun. Enjoy everyone!

So my so called "gig" with my guitar teacher's band is a week away. Next Friday, April 28th, for one night only! I'll quit with the announcer speak. I'll admit, this time last week while thinking about it I was nervous as all hell and thought that I was going to suck, royally. I still think, that, but a little less, and I'm actually really looking forward to it now. I had a lesson on Tuesday night where we basically ran through the bulk of the two songs I'm going to do, going over some finer points, and adding a possible third tune, The Clash's "Should I Stay Or Should I Go." My teacher said I'm in good shape and not to worry, that I'll do fine and all that stuff. I'm flattered at his faith in me, but I'm still a bit terrified.

I was never good at getting up in front of people and talking. I took public speaking in high school, and it didn't help. I took a basic acting class in college, that didn't help. Any time I had to give a presentation in school I'd rush through it, and especially anything getting in front of people at work. I just suck at it. So I'm a little worried about doing this. I know there will be other people up there with me, so its not like I'm playing solo. And thankfully I'm not singing. That would empty a bar out in record time. I just know that everyone that I've invited down there is going to be staring at me, and I'm not good with having the limelight solely on me.

My teacher said the key is to have a good four beer buzz going at all time. He said I do not want to go up there stone cold sober, and definitely not drunk. If I can maintain the buzz, I'll be good. And at this place, it equates to about three pints of beer. I can do that, I think!

Anyway, enough babbling out of me. I'm psyched, and I hope you're psyched for me. I'll be sure to get some pictures and hopefully some video of me rocking out. Can't wait!

Anyone that even remotely knows me would know that I'm crazy about music. I'm one of those firm believers that the music you listen to truly is the soundtrack of your life. There's nothing I love more than a great song with some meaningful lyrics. I don't know how my brother goes through life not really listening to what they're saying. Baffles me. Anyway, despite the fact that I've heard this song countless times, this one line really sunk in for me this morning, why, I don't know. I just thought I'd share. The artist is Jimmy Eat World, off their album Clarity, the song "For Me This Is Heaven." And I quote, "If I don't let myself by happy now then when? If not now when?"

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I"m not happy. But lets just say in some respects I could be happier. I'm really hoping things go well with this new girl, for one thing. Thats one thing that been lacking lately, the female companionship department. In the past I've always used the saying, there was no spark, it just didn't feel right, no chemistry, blah blah blah. What I was doing was basing every girl I met against that whore I used to date and its taken me awhile to realize that it isn't really the best course of action. After all, look what happened to that relationship. Things are progressing with this new girl in a way that I'm totally not used to. A few months ago, that would've bugged me and I probably wouldn't be hanging out with her anymore. But now, I'm letting them develop slowly, because maybe thats the best course of action. Maybe you don't need an instant spark, maybe you need to slow burn so it doesn't burn bright and fizzle out (I'm officially done with the fire metaphors, I swear).

We're hanging out on Saturday, then my brother is having people over my parents house while they're away on their new post-Tax Season vacation, so I'll invite her along, and of course if we're still hanging out I'll invite her to my guest appearance with my guitar teachers band. Slow and steady wins the race, right? So the point to all this. I'm going to let myself be happy and enjoy it all at its own pace.

Because, if I don't let myself by happy now then when? If not now when?

Sadly, nothing much but the same old same old. Work just chugs along like it always does. I'm steadily hanging out with this new girl once or twice a week, which is nice, still plugging away on the guitar, watching hockey like a madman and playing some Play Station 2. Real exciting stuff, I know!

I don't even know where to begin. The weekend was pretty decent. Very relaxing. Went out with the new girl (I will give out a name eventually, I promise) on Friday night. We caught dinner at a local restaurant/bar, which was fun. But I think her meal didn't agree with her so the evening was cut short. She apologized later, but there really wasn't a need. We've all been there at least once before. We're hanging out again this coming weekend. She's housesitting for someone, so thats where we're hanging out. Hopefully it'll be good.

I was supposed to go to a concert with Seth on Saturday, but I punked out, mostly because I was tired from Friday, it was raining, and I didn't feel like going into the city. So Shari, since she was already in the city, went instead. I went home and hung out with Rob (not sure if I actually mentioned him by name, but thats the new roommate as of December) and we figured out how to restring a guitar he borrowed and then jammed for an hour or so. That was fun.

I had the usual guitar lesson. I brought in the new one, and amazingly enough, its in good shape and plays well according to my teacher. I was proud of that as I did all the work myself. I dropped the thing off at guitar center to have a little cosmetic work done to it, so I'm hoping to have it back by Tuesday. If not then, then probably Friday. Oh well. In the meantime my two song stint with my teacher's band is coming up in two and a half weeks and I'm scared shitless, but I just need to practice more and I'll be fine. I have faith in myself, I think.

Other than that, its business as usual. The Rangers are going to the playoffs, which is awesome. Things seem to be going well with the new girl, which is fantastic. And there really isn't anything to complain about, so I won't. Adios for now!

I don't know what it is, but I've been to more hockey games this year than I have in, I'd say about the last 5 years, combined. I can't explain it. Now that hockey is back, and the Rangers are actually a decent team, I'm just obsessed with it. Randy and I got tickets to tonights game months ago, and its going to be a big game. We're playing the Flyers and the two teams are battling for first place in their division, and what's sure to be home ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs. Right now the Rangers are two points up (a win is two points, an overtime loss one, a loss is zero) so if the Rangers win tonight they'll widen their lead to 4 points, with only 7 games to play. Plus, if they win, or at least go into overtime and lose, they'll clinch a playoff spot. So I am beyond excited. Plus, if Jagr has a goal tonight, he'll break the team record for most in a season. Even bigger bonus.

In other news, I have officially gone out four times with the new girl, and she hasn't driven me crazy yet. Like I said earlier, its a different kind of feeling with her. There wasn't this great big initial spark like there was with the ho, or some other girls I've dated, but all that stuff ended horribly, so obviously its not what I should be looking for anymore. I don't know, we just have fun together, and she obviously likes me if she keeps wanting to hang out, and thats a good thing. We shall see how it progresses, but so far so good!

Other than that, nothing else going on. I had a pretty bad experience donating platelets the other day and I have two huge bruises, one on each arm for my troubles. But, I did give a full donation, and I'm going back in a month. That should give my veins time to recover, I hope.

Thats about it. Game tonight, taking the day off tomorrow, just because, and thats all folks!